GIRL INTERRUPTED

GIRL INTERRUPTED

Girl Interrupted

AVERAGE EVERYDAY SANE PSYCHO SUPERGODDESS

4.30.2004

FOR LOVE OR MONEY 2: THE FORMULA FOR LOVE

 
What a perfect ending!!! Romantic comedy producers can turn it into a movie and it is sure to make the box office records. Things worked out wonderfully in the end for both Erin and Chad. They got love AND money.


Last night, I watched the season finale of my favorite foreign reality show For Love or Money 2. I watched it twice. I caught the first airing and the replay. Yeah, I found it that great to catch the 12 midnight replay. It was so magical. I was swooning. I carried the kilig all the way to sleep. It makes me wanna fall in love.


My bet Chad won. Erin had picked him and he had picked love so they got together and Erin won the two million and she split it with Chad. I realized one thing, THAT is the formula for love.


It is not the initial physical attraction. It is not the deep connection between two people. Those are parts of it but ultimately, it is the leap of faith, the decision to love someone and risk anything and everything for that person that spells out the success or failure of a relationship. Love is more than an emotion. It is an emotion AND a decision.


Erin took a big leap choosing Chad. Wade was the more reliable one. He was the better chance at winning two million dollars because of his good character and his openness. The only problem was she only respected him and liked him; she didn't feel the sparks with him.


She felt magic with Chad. When they are together, you can see that they really have something special. Their chemistry radiated off from the screen. I felt that it was real even if they were set in an environment full of lies and deceit. The problem Erin faced was that Chad is the more unpredictable one. In the last parts of the show, paranoia was really eating his mind. So it was a big risk going for Chad.


Chad's paranoia is understandable. He was confused. Love or money is really a big dilemma. And he did not know what other twist there could turn things around. The show after all had A LOT of twists. He was questioning Erin's motives. He didn't know if Erin was just playing with him or not. But his feelings for her were strong. In one of the confessionals, he said Erin had all the qualities of his dream girl and he could see a lasting relationship with her. He just did not know whether he could trust those feelings. In the end, he followed his guts and chose Erin. He deserves the one million Erin gave him because he took a giant leap.


The lovely couple: Erin and Chad


Two people taking a leap of faith for the other person, putting everything on the line, and banking on the relationship they have is the formula for love. It requires greatness because you have to swallow your pride, fight all your fears, and go beyond your inhibitions. You are putting yourself out there. You are vulnerable. You can be rejected. You can lose everything. But still you do it because it is what your heart and your entire being tells you to do.


I think that is why I like the show so much. Following the episodes, you see how two people fall in love and achieve such greatness together.


One day, I want to be able to pull an Erin and have my own Chad.


P.S. I really hope their relationship would last. Being there in the show with all those special dates, the romantic environment, and the hyped-up emotions is different from reality. I hope they last in the real world.

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TNT 2ND INTERVIEW

 
I am done with my 2nd interview. I think I did well and I had fun. So I guess it is out of my hands now. I would just have to wait and see.


I am going to divulge all my crazy TNT stunts and outfits when and if I get in. :)

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4.28.2004

SUPER RACHELLE

 
My TNT 2nd interview is scheduled on May 1. May 1!!! Are they serious? It's Labor Day. And it's a Saturday. So I asked to be re-scheduled. And great, I was re-scheduled. But I'm supposed to show my stuff tomorrow. Again, I'm in panic mode. I have an idea already. Super Rachelle coming! So I guess I have to prepare my entire stint this afternoon. Hayyy!!!

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4.27.2004

TOP TEN ANYTHING

 
There are so many reality shows on Philippine TV nowadays. We have StarStruck, Star in a Million, Star Circle Quest, Victim, Extra Extra, etc.


Foreign programs Survivor, American Idol, UK Pop Idol, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, etc. started it all. Filipinos saw the success of the genre and so local producers brought it to Philippine shores.


Me and my groupmates (also beloved friends) Mau and Tin wrote a junior thesis about Pinoy Reality TV. We did a cultural and marketing analysis of the success of reality-based artista searches Star in a Million and StarStruck. And we did well. It is such a fun and interesting topic. We learned a lot.


At first, the only reason why we followed Star in a Million was Christian Bautista. He is the brother of our kabarkada Joshua. So we showed support. Later on, in doing the paper, we grew to appreciate the artista search based on its own merit. It caters to the entertainment-loving culture of the Philippines and it reflects Filipino ideas, values, and emotions.


Now, I am watching a lot of reality shows. So I am doing a top ten anything special on it. Here are my ten bets for some reality programs.


Note: They are just the ones I like but not necessarily who I predict would win. Also, in some cases, the show has already finished so I will just say who was my favorite.


TTA6. FAVE REALITY TV SHOWS


1. Star Circle Kid Quest: Aaron He is sooooo cute! He is that little chubby boy who is so bibo. I hope he wins! I actually went against my mind telling me not to fall for the commercialist manipulations of the network and I voted for Aaron via text. Thrice. I just want to help him win. So adorable, I swear! If I get married and have a kid, I want him to be just like Aaron.


* I do not have a favorite among the girl kid questors.


2. Star Circle Teen Quest Male: Hero Angeles I am rooting for him because he was schoolmate and he is a really nice person. He was the artist in our school paper at the time that I was Features Editor and he was so shy and timid back then. Look at him now. He is confident. He has a lot of fans. Some of my friends even have a crush on him. Well, goodluck Hero!


3. Star Circle Teen Quest Female: Michelle She is pretty and lively. The best singer and dancer among the girls. She has lots of personality, spunky and fun. She has the X factor.


4. Star Circle Teen Quest Female: Roxanne I think that she is pretty too like Michelle. Plus, she has talent. She was one of the best in their TV reporting challenge. Her chemistry with Joross shows on the screen. They're really comfortable with each other. I'm betting they'll be a famous loveteam in the future.


5. StarStruck Teens: Jennylyn Mercado She is the Ultimate StarStruck Female Survivor! She deserves to win. My bet back then was right. She has a great voice.


* I do not have a fave among the boys and I do not follow the new StarStruck Kids. The Star Circle kids are cuter! Hehe... :)


6. Star in a Million Male: Christian Bautista Of course Christian is my favorite. As mentioned, he is the kuya of my friend Josh. He has a great voice. He has a unique voice. He shows charisma while singing. He has appeal. Even if he only placed fourth, I am sure that he will go far and his career will flourish. His debut song The Way You look at Me is a nice romantic ballad and it is doing well on the charts.


7. Star in a Million Female: Kyla Rivera I have watched Kyla sing a lot of times since we were both in BlueRep and TNT. Her voice is incredible. It is very girly and pure and simple. She was like an angel when she sang The Unexpected Song in a BlueRep production, Company Call. After hearing her version, it is now one of my favorite songs of all time. I feel bad that she got eliminated.


Okay, I can not have a reality TV bet list without including contestants I root for in some foreign reality shows that I really really like. So here goes.


8. For Love or Money 2: Chad I have been watching this dating game and it is quite addictive. It is interesting to see human nature at work. Will greed or will love win? I like Chad. Aside from being the cutest, he has proven himself to Erin through a lot of the challenges and the dates. I hope she picks him. And I hope he picks love. They could split the 2 million and it would be a win-win situation.


9. American Idol Male: George Huff Deep black soul! George Huff is definitely Idol material. And the thing I like most about him is that he has fun performing. He has got lots of personality. He lights up the stage. When George Huff sings, there is fire!


10. American idol Female: Jasmine Trias Aside from the fact that she is half-Filipina, I like this Hawaiian girl because she is a complete performer. She has the voice, she can belt those high notes. She has the looks, the flower she puts on her hair Hawaiian style makes her even prettier. She has the fashion sense. She has the moves, simple and alluring. She has the right attitude. Of course I do not know her but from what I see, she is down to earth and fun-loving.

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I'M IN!!!

 
I passed my first TNT interview. Yipee!!! :)


Actually, I'm already excited to go to the second one. We're supposed to come as a unique superhero
(meaning a superhero we have invented, with costumes and props - the works!). I have a fun idea. I can't wait to execute it.


And my friends Mitzi, and Birdie, and Grace, and Chinkin, etcetera, etcetera also got in. I hope we all get in. It's so fun to be a TNT. I hope to stay in. Wish me luck! Would I be in or out? Watch out for that only here where the magic continues... TNT Teen Quest. Hehe... ;)

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PRESIDENTS FOR SALE

 
I watched The Correspondents last night. They aired an interesting and very well-done election special feature. It is a piece that would go down journalism history. It was entitled Presidents for Sale. It is about imagery and TV ads and all the hype and strategy involved in "selling" a presidentiable to the voting public. They analyzed the images and focus markets of the commercials of GMA, FPJ, Lacson, Roco, Bro. Eddie, and even Eddie Gil. They talked about endorsements, physical features, music like that "May bagong umagang parating..., etc.


That made me think and I have realized that in a nation with a celebrity-culture like ours, there is a very thin line between image and reality. The line is so thin that often times becomes blurred. Image becomes reality. Reality is reduced to an image.


I believe that presentation or "packaging" as it is called when comparing candidates to products, is important. Striking curiosity and satisfying the viewers' aesthetic demands is important. You will not get anywhere if your market does not like you at first glance. They simply would not bother, even if you had the substance. That is a reality. So to a certain degree, I think presentation should be given importance in a campaign. However, for the campaign to be reduced to mere packaging is a really sad thing. In the end, appeal can only get one so far. It is still what's inside that really counts. I hope the candidates think about that as they try to win the electoral race. We need to hear their platforms. We need to know where they are coming from. We need to see who they really are and what they can do. I hope too that voters would care enough to scrutinize politicians. Voters should distinguish between the packaging and the content. It's the first step to intelligent and responsible voting. The elections are bigger than shopping. We can't just buy whatever was endorsed by our favorite celebrity, or what has a nice catchy jingle, or what has a colorful package. In the same way that consumers should get quality products, so does the Philippines deserve a good and qualified president.

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4.26.2004

I'M OUT!!! I'M FREE!!!

 
I am finally out of that box of anger, pain, frustration, and all sorts of pent-up emotions I have put myself into for the past months because of my sis dilemma.


I must say, it feels so good. I can breathe again. The chains that have been dragging me down have finally been broken and I feel as light as a feather.


And it's funny actually. I have worked myself up and problematized this so much when the solution was just so simple and so easy. I dunno why I did not do it before pa. I could've saved myself the stress. Last night, I couldn't bear it anymore. (I really can't last na may kaaway. Mahina puso ko sa ganyan. I want to be at peace with myself and with everybody. That's just the way I am.) So... I swallowed my pride. I forgot my just-ignore-her resolve because although it was working, it wasn't good enough. I wanted her back. I wanted to return to the days when we were so close with each other. So, I gave in. I took the first step. And she took step two. We went on together from there. Hayyy!!! Then we stayed up all night having sister kulitan and chismisan.


I learned quite a number of things about love from this situation.


* Sometimes, apologies are not needed. Forgiveness should be given for free. Forgiving someone in your heart even without the person asking for it is not only the Christian and the right thing to do, it's the only option when you love someone.


* Being the first to "surrender" in a fight doesn't mean surrendering at all. There is no scoring in relationships. You do your part. The other party does his/her part. Minsan, nagkakahiyaan lang kayo pero pareho namang gusto niyo na magkaayos. Show initiative.


* Family comes first. There's no one else you can turn to when the everything is going wrong except for your family. Families are special so never allow minor disagreements and pride get in the way.


I'm really happy all this is over. I am never gonna let this happen again. I love my sister.

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4.25.2004

KARAOKE NIGHT

 
The celebration is over. Just got home about half an hour ago. I'm so tired but I'm still in the mood for singing.


I had a really good time. Yeah, there were a few titas who asked the boyfriend question but it wasn't that bad. I just smiled. You know that I-don't-really-wanna-answer-so-I'm-not-encouraging-conversation type of smile? That was it. I guess they got it 'coz they asked me about my dress and my make-up instead and didn't bother me anymore. Hehe... :) I got lots of compliments so hey, I'm not complaining.


The rest of the evening turned out to be fun. The Capistranos, from the side of Tito Kits, are a family of singers so we had a great karaoke night. Jam from The Wizeguys and another band member (I forgot the name of the band.) sang with all those blending and humming. The works! I want singers with voices like that to sing on my wedding, if ever someone actually marries me. I was all like: "Wow, I'm related to them in the second degree." Hehe... ;)


This is a first. I actually enjoyed attending a wedding.

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4.24.2004

RANTINGS OF A BRIDESMAID

 
I'm going to a wedding later. It's the 25th anniversary of Tita Elma and Tito Kits and they are celebrating it by renewing their vows. I'm one of the bridesmaids.


I love them very much. I'm looking forward to an evening of good food and good music with the San Pedro clan. I want to wear my beautiful bluegreen peacock-printed silk gown. So I'm trying to psych myself up and get excited like the rest of the family. But it's so hard to do. Deep down, I'm actually dreading to go.


Why? Weddings make me feel weird. Seeing all that love, commitment, and family ever so present and so in-your-face makes me doubt my current stand on love. I don't wanna give my [non-existent] love life much thought. It's just like that, by choice. And I'm happy. End of story. So I don't want to have to endure the relentless asking of my aunts and uncles. "Hija, may boyfriend ka na ba?" or "May nanliligaw ba sa iyo?" And I don't want to hear my dad replying "Hahabulin ko 'yun ng itak." on my behalf. Even if he is joking (although I know he means it, even if just partly), he doesn't have the right to answer for me. But he's my dad and I love him so I stay mum. Silence is something we give people we love. I don't want to offend him. But it's so annoying. Aaahhhh!!! Why can't they just leave me alone? It drives me to the brink of insanity.


Here's the deal. I don't want to have a boyfriend. I'm not thinking of marriage. What is so wrong with that? I have set priorities for myself. My family and my studies come first. Who has the right to tell me what deserves my time and energy? I think I'm too young for a relationship. I'm not ready. I haven't met the right person yet. I want to grow and be a complete person on my own. I have a lot of reasons. Why do I have to explain myself all the time? Why? Why, oh why? It's my life. It's my heart. It's my happiness. It's my decision. Mine and mine only. I wish people would respect that.


I do believe in love. Sometimes. When I see my lolo and lola hold hands and act still so much in love with each other even after being together for more than 50 years, I feel what it is about. When my dad doesn't react to my mom's nagging and he still loves her in silence, I wish someone would bear with me when I'm such a bitch with a bad case of topak ('coz I know I could be like that sometimes.). When I wake up early and see my mom already up just to prepare my dad's breakfast when she could be enjoying blissful sleep, I want to do a similar selfless gesture for someone.


Yes, I want to love and be loved. Everbody does. But not now. It's not that easy. I believe that there is a right time, a right place, a right person, a right moment. I don't think it's the right time nor place. The right person hasn't come yet. And the moment has not taken place.


Love is just not on my "to do" list right now. It doesn't mean that it won't be. Who are we to know what the future holds for us? I don't know yet. I'm only 19 and many things will still happen in my life. It's just not on my mind now. And while wedding bells and flowers and all that are still far away, I just want to be able to go to a wedding and enjoy it without anyone bothering me. I just want to wear my pretty little gown and walk down the aisle. I just want to eat, and dance, and talk to my relatives. I just want to look on at the couple as they exchange vows and feel comfortable knowing that I would be like them someday. For now, I am perfectly content and happy with the way I am. I just wanna be a bridesmaid.

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4.23.2004

GUESS WHO'S BACK?!?

 


Alex Band is back! The Calling is back!
*Rachelle dances around*
Whoopee!!! I can't contain my excitement.


I just saw their new song/video in MTV's TRL Our Lives. "'Coz these are the days worth living. And these are the years worth giving. These are the moments. These are the times. Let's make the best out of our lives..."


*Rachelle gushes*
I looooovvvveeee Alex Band! He's so hot. And his voice is so fantastic. I'd marry him any day. Kahit ilang beses. Kahit saang simbahan. Kahit nga huwes lang. Engrande man o chipipay. Basta, kahit anong kondisyon, ok sa akin. The only problem is getting him to ask me considering that he is not even aware of my existence. Ah, the tragedy of unrequited love!


But I don't mind. I'm already contented with loving him from a distance.


I can not wait to get a copy of their new album. :)

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A WAY OUT

 
I wrote this in my diary, the tangible one that unlike Girl Interrupted no one else can read. It was past midnight and I couldn't sleep. I've just read my blog No Way Out and I was thinking. I finally figured a way out.


Actually, I'm a bit hesitant about posting this 'coz it's quite personal. But putting this up is symbolic. It's a step towards making my new resolve happen. So here goes...


_______________________________________________


Diary Entry


Mantra
Say to self every time losing control:


I am a good person.
I am a strong person.
I believe in God. I love God.
I want a life filled with love and happiness and I am
going to make it happen.


For some reason, maybe divine intervention or positive cosmos, I started thinking about my present situation and decided that it's time for a change. Every other aspect of my life is going well except for my relationship with my sister and that one thing puts a dark cloud above everything. It's holding me back. In dad's words, its a hindrance to my full enjoyment of life.


That is simply unacceptable. I won't let it be. I won't let it affect me in any way. I'm bigger than that. I'm stronger than that. I'm smarter than that.


Looking back, all that hurt and anger brought me nowhere. In fact, it even had negative effects. My otherwise peaceful and loving relationship with my parents was slightly disturbed. (Thank goodness the bond is so strong that it's still ok despite that.) I had a lot of worries. My health was put on the line.


I do not deserve any of that. I love myself. I love my family. I love the good life that I am living.


So from now on, things are going to change. I will not let a hard-headed, unapologetic, cold-hearted, pathetic person affect me and my life.


Things I will do:


1. I won't pay her any attention. I'll even stop showing how I get a bad mood when she's around. She is not worth getting all worked up for. She is now non-existent to me.


2. I'll just forget about the incident. It's hard to forgive. I'm not capable of that yet. Especially without an apology from her. But I can manage forgetting. It will rid me of negative thoughts and emotions.


3. I will have fun and do the things I wanna do. This is my last college summer break and no one is gonna take it away from me.


I swear that from this very moment, I am adopting a healthier and happier outlook.


_______________________________________________


It has only been a day since I wrote that and I put my new attitude into action but so far it's working. I'm less worked up. I'm happier. I am gonna win in this situation. I'll give it my all.

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4.22.2004

TATTOO ON MY MIND

 
I saw a rock chic girl with a cool Chinese word tattooed on her belly and I felt so envious. I hardly get envious of others but when I saw her, I wanted to be her, if only for the tattoo. It looks so cool. And I do not mean cool in that everybody is doing it so I should do it sense because that ain't cool at all. It was cool because it was funky, artistic, and a true expression of individuality.


I wanna get one. But I am not yet sure what design. I have always been a fan of body art. Though some people say it is a destruction of the body, I think it is a perfectly ok form of beautification and expression.


I already got a second ear piercing. I did it as the crazy thing to do on your birthday when I turned 19. Hmmm... Maybe I should do this tattoo thing for my twentieth. Chinese word, flower, butterfly, that Lara Croft code? Henna or glitter? Sounds good to me.

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INSANITY REPORT

 
My first interview is done. Hopefully, I'll make it to the second one. I'm not sure if I did good enough. Did some pretty crazy stuff. But it was fun. :)

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4.21.2004

THE INSANITY IS OVER... OR HAS IT JUST BEGUN?

 
Yipee! My czin Hannah is the best. She came over here at our house and now I have a TNT object. And I'm excited to do my act. It's crazy. It's fun. It's me. Hehe... :) Wish me luck peeps!

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TNT 1ST INTERVIEW INSANITY

 
I was just sharing my TNT dilemma with Tin over YM and she said and I quote, "maybe your shortcoming is that... you're too driven?... bring a steering wheel." Not a bad idea! Considering that I'm desperate. Haha... Time to stop this insanity.

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TNT 1ST INTERVIEW

 
My first TNT interview is already tomorrow. I'm in panic mode right now 'coz I don't have the required item (symbol of your shortcomings) yet. The fact that my interview is only a day away has only dawned on me this morning. God, why did I put it off to the last minute? I usually plan ahead and I get all these crazy, fun ideas but my mind and my sense of fun is just uncooperative right now. Very uncooperative. Oh geez, I hope I don't make a mess of myself tomorrow. Gawd, what am I gonna do? Help!!!

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TOP TEN ANYTHING

 
Here is another round of my top ten anythings.


TTA4. GENIUS TV ADS As of March 2004


1. On the top of my list is the Coke-for-everyone campaign. Para sa labandera... showing the Coke crown that symbolizes a tub. Para sa tatlong hari... with three Coke bottles standing for Melchor, Gaspar, and Baltazar. Para sa pamilya... with an assortment of Coke sizes suggesting a mother, a father, and their children. Etcetera etcetera. At the end, it says: Coke. Mismo. Pure genius! There is a good use of imagination in terms of visual associations. The ad is also effective in projecting the product as the softdrink for everyone.


2. Sprite Magpakatotoo Ka! series of commercials. Well, this can be expected from the same beverage company as Coca-Cola. It has a nice ideology. Be true to yourself.


3. Milo Generations Very sporty and carries the Filipino Olympic tradition. And that what's-his-name Lizardo karate kid is cute! ;)


4. McDo family 1 The one with the song Kanlungan. "Lumilipas ang panahon..." Nice song and very family-oriented. After going out in life on their own, the children come back in the end and the happy family has a nice get-together at McDo.


5. Oreo with the two cute little boys. The younger boy tries to imitate his brother in dunking Oreo in milk, only he uses his milk bottle. Hehe... :) Cute!


6. The Caltex Star Mart ad showing a young boy giving chocolate to the mom of the girl he likes. Short-term goal vs. long-term goal...This little boy knows how to court the right way! ;)


7. Fita 1 The friends who switch positions: Palit kaya tayo? Anong gagawin mo? Last Fita mo na... Takam na takam ka na tapos humingi ako.... The friend gives it and the guy eats the Fita. Magulang!


8. Fita 2 The one with the fairy. The guy shares half of the bread to a fairy disguised as an old lady. Because of his good heart, he is given a chance to wish. He asks for a red sports car. And he gets it! However, he only got half of the car. Hehe... :) Well, what you give is what you get.


9. The Libresse commercials with John Lloyd Cruz, Richard Gutierrez, and Lucky Manzano. Revolutionary! Guys advertising girl products and vice-versa... It implies a significant change in the way gender constructs are perceived and propagated.


10. Another McDo commercial, the Karen po ad. Touching! Si lolo talaga, oh!


I wish advertisers would stick to these intelligent-funny-good visual types of commercials. Aside from being very effective in marketing the products, they raise the standard of promotions as well.


* That new Pepsi commercial is cool too! We will, we will, rock you! Beyonce was so pretty there in her sexy gladiator garb. I wonder how Pepsi got all four singers to agree to come out in one commercial. They got Beyonce, Pink, Britney, and Enrique. More than that, I am curious how much they were paid. The entire thing with the talent fees must have been pretty costly. Sadly, aside from the impact because of the celebrities and the good rocking song, the commercial did not mean anything at all.


TTA5. MY FAVE ROMANTIC COMEDIES As of March 2004


Among the film genres, I prefer the romantic comedy best. I usually watch movies to relax and to have fun so the romantic comedy suits my purposes well. It is funny. It is romantic. It is inspiring. It is relaxing.


I have watched quite a lot of romantic comedies already and here are, in my assessment, the best of them. Warning: Do not proceed reading if you do not want spoilers. But most of them are old already so I would say it is pretty safe.


1. Love Actually What else can I say? Borrowing from the movie, Love actually is all around. This movie captured me from the very first scene up to the very last.


That airport scene was a wonderful opening. The V/O said that whenever he felt gloomy and the world seems to be full of sh*t, he just goes to the arrival station at an airport. There, he sees love all around in mothers and daughters, brothers and sisters, couples, and friends all excited to see each other.

Then the movie branches off into the lives of the many different but all related characters. There are stories of love despite different social positions, love for the children, love borne of gratitude, unspoken love, etc. My favorites are the love amidst different languages story starring the very Mr. Darcy-like Collin Firth and the sacrificial love with that really hot GD guy. I watched it with my girl pals Mau, Tin, Mitzi, and Jing and whenever that babe was onscreen, there was a collective sigh. Watch it, you will know what I am talking about.


Notable too is the scene when the guy who harbored a secret love for the wife of his best bud is found out. Watching the video he took of her, the girl was so shocked. It was really heart wrenching.


By the way, the makers of this film are the same people behind Four Weddings and a Funeral so if you liked that one, you are bound to like this even better.


Love Actually is all around


2. Notting Hill For ___, from ___ who always sat beside her carved in a bench in the park says it all. It is the movie star-meets-regular guy plot. But there is something in the winning smile of Julia Roberts and her chemistry with Hugh Grant that makes the formula romantic comedy look like more than that.


Not to forget too, this is where Anna delivered her memorable line. I am only just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.


3. 10 Things I Hate About You Rocking! A hip romantic movie, perfect for teens. I like the soundtrack too with that cool girl rock band and You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you rendered by Mr. Bad Boy himself Heath Ledger. And I wanna do that paint balls thing.


4. Shakespeare in Love Classic. Now I know why Gwyneth Paltrow and Winona Ryder were ready to engage in cat fight just to grab the part.


5. My Sassy Girl This Korean movie (or is it Japanese? I am not sure on that.) stars the most sabog and the craziest girl I have ever seen, Junj-jo. But she is really pretty. And I like her fun spunk. The lead guy Gyun-Woo is funny too, although very gullible. My Sassy Girl is a good laugh and it is touching too especially with that waiting to meet at the tree after years of not seeing each other. But what I remember most is the scene where the girl barfs at the subway. I always remember it when I am at the MRT station. My Sassy Girl is one of those films that leaves a strong impression.


6. Got 2 Believe is undoubtedly the best local romantic comedy. It has a funny-sometimes crazy script, very lively production design, and a very different Claudine Barretto and Rico Yan.

And I must say, being a creative wedding planner seems like a fab job! Did you see that prince and princesses-theme wedding? It must be really expensive with all those period costumes but I am sure that a wedding like that is plain magical.


7. Cutting Edge Love on ice-skates! The feisty Moira Kelly and heartthrob-of-his-time D.B. Sweeney tease, and fight, and quarrel, and finally fall in love. Whoever said that there is a thin line between love and hate was right. The line is as thin as ice.


Aside from being a good romantic comedy, Cutting Edge features a lot of ice-skating action. That last scene was Olympic worthy.


8. Pretty Woman Well, I am a big Julia Roberts fan. I already noted Notting Hill but I just have to put another of Julia Roberts' works. I was contemplating between this, My Best Friend's Wedding, and Runaway Bride but I must say this is the film that started Ms. Roberts down the road of being an American Sweetheart.


9. One Fine Day is all about a day that started really awful and ended really wonderful. Love really comes at the time it is least expected. Watch this, if only for George Clooney.


10. City of Angels Any romantic comedy list would not be complete without a Meg Ryan in it. An angel falls in love with a mortal. He clips his wings and give[s] up forever to touch [her]. Yeah, he dies but in his own words, it had been worth it.


My fave band The Goo Goo Dolls provide the main music to the soundtrack so expect the soundtrack to be a bomb.


Runner-up List:


* Moulin Rouge Absolutely fantastic! Freedom! Truth! Beauty! And above all, Love! All the exclamation marks are very much deserved. The only reason I did not include it in the list is that branding it as a romantic comedy does not give it justice. Its proper genre label should be romantic musical extravaganza. Highlight the word extravaganza.


* Someone Like You Ashley Judd was fantastic but the plot is just plain good and not great. But it is pretty interesting, a girl who sets out with a down with love and men are cows outlook ends up under the influence of love with a cow.


* Bridget Jones' Diary Okay, but the book is much better. Some movies, although faithful to the book which is its source, does not match up to it. Still, Renee Zellwegger was great and she brightened up the screen. Imagine, she even put on extra pounds just to play England's best girl.


* Jerry Maguire has a captivating story and that famous You complete me line. But I do not like Tom Cruise much. No offense but he is too much of a pretty boy.


* You've Got Mail A Meg Ryan masterpiece again this time with Tom Hanks. E-love. Well-done romantic comedy but for me City of Angels is more powerful.


* Never Been Kissed stars Drew Barrymore as the writer who gets to relive higschool. Miss Josey Gellar, is so funny. She is actually cool playing someone uncool. Michael Vartan is not as hot in this one as he is as Vaughn in Alias but his performance is commendable.


* Serendipity Most people do not like it but I do. I believe in that entire fate, destiny, and soul mate stuff. Nice soundtrack too! And good title, the perfect word.


* A Walk to Remember Was not very faithful to the Nicholas Sparks novel but a good screen adaptation. Made me cry! And the Only Hope number was angelic. :)


* Titanic Well, it's a bit corny now that the Titanic craze has subsided but you got to admit it was a well-told love story. It wouldn't have been a titanic success if it wasn't. Plus, Leo is cute although practically every teenage girl already has a crush on him so I don't like him anymore. I am not taking a number.

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4.20.2004

MY I-MAGAZINE ARTICLE

 
My mom and I went to the PCIJ office yesterday and I finally got my copy of the I-Magazine.


Note: Please refer to my I-Magazine blog for the story of my work's publication in the prestigious publication.


It is so nice to see my work in print. And my picture there was larger than life. Quite shocking actually. Larger than I would have wanted it to be. But it's ok. And they did not edit much so I am really pleased. Commercial publications usually edit a lot so I am happy that they let me retain my voice. It is so cool.


And they also gave me my fee. Wow! I got paid for writing. Someone actually paid me to give my opinion. A thousand bucks for a 2-page double-spaced essay is not bad.


Afterward, my mom and I went shopping to celebrate the achievement. Well, I always find an excuse for shopping. :) I bought myself 3 pairs of sandals since it is summer and I am a sandals type of girl.


When we got home, my mom immediately brought the magazine to the rest of the compound. (All my relatives from my mom's side live in the same compound.) It was quite flattering actually to see my mom flaunting it to my grandparents and my aunts and everybody else. Haha... :) Again, I was the star.


The entire thing is just really cool. I have another piece to add to my portfolio. I really wish I could make a living just writing and expressing myself. There's nothing like getting paid for doing something you feel so passionately about.


Announcement (made June 2004): The article is up. You can read it at the PCIJ I-Magazine page.

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4.17.2004

AN ODE TO MY DAD

 
If I were to make a list entitled the men in my life, which would include the men I admire and I love, my dad would definitely top the list.


Sidenote: Well, God is important to me. But who says God is male? So I will just put Him on top of my general I love list.


So, you could say that my dad is my main man. He is after all not only a dad. He is my mentor, my confidante, my partner in crime, my support system, etcetera etcetera. He is for me the best dad in the whole world. But of course, I am biased. To say that I am a daddy's girl is a major understatement.


So how do you say thank you to someone who has loved you unconditonally, supported you through thick and thin, listened to you, lectured you, guided you, and was just the wonderful person that he is and made you a part of his life? I would like to shout out a big thank you and I love you to Mr. Gilbert San Pedro for everything that he has done. I wish him good health, success, peace of mind, love, happiness, and all the best the world can give. He truly deserves it. Happy Birthday to the best dad!

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4.16.2004

NO WAY OUT

 
Just how do you forgive someone who has hurt you so bad? I know that forgiveness is the key to happiness. And I've always prided myself with having a happy disposition and not harboring any negative feelings against my neighbors. But this time, I'm finding that to forgive and to forget is easier said than done.


I mean, I was really hurt. Actually, it hurts until now. And the person concerned has not even apologized. Actually, I don't think the person has even recognized the fault. Worse, that person seems so unaffected and even cocky in relating to me. So even if healing the hurt, just not minding that person, and moving on is the best and the healthiest solution, I can't bring myself to do it. How do you forgive an unapologetic super makapal ang mukha person?


And talking it over is not an option. In our fights and misunderstandings before, I've always been the one to initiate talking and making up whether it was my fault or it was the other person's. I don't want to do that anymore. I'm so tired of sacrificing and stepping on my pride when the person I'm doing that for will probably just hurt me again like before.


I think I'd rather continue this cold war we're having now than us making up but there's no assurance that the person has changed. So I guess now I'm just waiting for the other person to realize the faults and do something about the situation. But that might take ages before happening. And I'm harboring all these hurt and anger while it's still not happening.


Damn, what the hell am I supposed to do? It's so hard to love someone who is so full of pride and is so cold-hearted. I'm not perfect, I know. But I've always tried to love the people around me to the best I can. Funny how I can be stuck in a situation like this and the other person is going around merry. Unfair!

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SIGHTINGS

 
Everybody is on the telly nowadays. I was so surprised to see familiar faces on the screen last night. Fr. Magadia, my teacher in Comparative Politics, was in TV Patrol. He gave an election analysis. Sir Apolonio (Sir Apple'Onions. hehe...) was in De-ba-te with Mare at Pare. And man, he was on fire. I watched my friend Blooey in an RJ TV special entitled Kami Naman. A few days ago, Jamie appeared in F, 'coz she's working as an intern there. Am I next? Hehe... :)

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4.15.2004

ROCO-LACSON

 
Ha! A new twist in the Roco issue. Lacson claims Roco tried to "unify" with him and asked for a P100 M concession. Could it be true? Hmm... Well, as a strategy, it makes sense. If Roco indeed ran out of resources, that would've been his best shot. But I'm not really convinced because I believe Roco has integrity. And Lacson may have a plan of his own. But with these politicians, you'll never know. Hmm... This case is getting harder and harder to read. At the same time, it's getting more and more interesting to follow.

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4.14.2004

ELECTION FEVER

 
With only a few weeks to go before the elections, things are heating up.


There's that controversial move of Raul Roco. Do you think he will back out and his flight to the U.S. is nothing but a graceful exit? That's what political scientists and election strategists read of this case. Could it be true that his campaign funds are running short? If yes, that's sad because it means that a decent man is robbed of the chance to do something just because he does not have the resources. If Roco backs out of the race and decides to endorse another candidate, who would it be? Is Malacanang really behind this? We all know how scheming ambitious people can get. Ah, so many questions. Actually, so many speculations. Well, I can't blame the people who ask. Leaving the country at such an important time in the game is an odd thing to do. But then again, if his health really is at stake, I guess his leaving makes sense. Moreover, Roco has always shown determination to run. I mean, he even turned down unification talks with GMA. Maybe the surveys (which is another controversial topic) has affected Roco. Did he reconsider? Hmm...


Then there's that Eddie Gil thing. I admired the judicial system when Gil was declared a nuisance candidate because it showed that the law prevailed. It was a good example of the law not allowing, and actually stopping, mockery of the political system. Now this? I smell money (lots of money) and influence (a very strong influence) behind all this. What else could be the reason? It doesn't make any sense. I think that this is wrong. I have nothing against Eddie Gil personally. I'm more bothered by the law's inconsistency. Technical matters shouldn't hinder the implementation of the logic of the law. The courts had already made the right decision before. Taking that decision back tarnishes the integrity of the institution. So to this entire Gil circus thing, another hmm...


I don't really know what to think. I have these ideas and guesses but I don't want to pass judgment. All I can say is that I feel that there's more to what Roco, his camp, and his opponents say and do. There's more to technical issues in the permission of Eddie Gil to continue his pursuit of the presidency. And these political developments are just the beginning. It is but a sign of more to come. As we get closer and closer to the elections, it's bound to get meaner and dirtier. I just hope things turn out well. The 2004 national elections can make or break our nation.

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TOP TEN ANYTHING

 
During our sleepover, my friends and I had an interesting activity. We asked each other our top ten anythings. The lists ranged from ambitions to cute guys and things like that. I'll post some of my top ten anythings.


Note: The items in the lists are not in order, unless specified. Also, the items reflect my personal preference. If you don't agree, I respect that. But I hope you respect my opinion too. If you wanna share your top ten, feel free to do so in my comments portion.


TTA1. LIFE-LONG DREAMS/FANTASIES: I WANNA...


1. be a ball-busting lawyer. It would be really cool to be the type of lawyer other lawyers fear facing in court. I would of course be wearing an Ally McBeal power suit with the short skirt. If not that, then I wanna be a pro-bono lawyer. (Extremes ba?) Well, I want passion and excitement. Corporate lawyer? Um, I think I'll pass.


2. have my own news/public affairs show. And I wanna write my own material or at least have some hand in writing the reports. I don't wanna be a newsreader. I wanna do really interesting and controversial topics ala The Probe Team, Jessica Soho Reports, and I-Witness.


3. be the editor of a women's magazine or have my own column in a national paper.


4. own a boutique. Imagine, my job would be fashion designing and stylizing. How fun is that? Shopping really should be considered an art, or a sport, or a science even. It involves aesthetics, decision-making, financial management, social skills, etc.


5. be an activist. There's nothing like supporting a worthy cause. And there's that entire adventure that comes with being a rebel-child. Born to be wild!


6. be a figure-skater or a gymnast. I remember watching figure skating and gymnastics competitions when I was little and wanting it so bad. Since then I've been frustrated that I don't know how to skate and I only know basic gymnastics.


7. buy a million (ok, maybe a hundred thousand would be enough) Chickenjoys and distribute it to street kids and people living in the slums.


8. write a bestseller. I wanna inspire people. Also, being immortalized in print is a (vain, but I want it) reward.


9. travel all over the world. I would like to meet different kinds of people, immerse myself in unique cultures, appreciate the sights and the beauty of nature...


10. build a foundation. But I'm not yet sure who the beneficiaries will be. Maybe battered women. Maybe street kids. Maybe the poor. Maybe colored people.


TTA2. MOST GORGEOUS/SEXIEST/COOLEST GUYS IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE


1. George Clooney The guy just has it even if he's old enough to be my grandpa. He's charming and slick, a real casanova.



2. Michael Vartan He's Agent Vaughn in Alias. Super intelligent looking but not in a nerdy way. There is definitely something about men working in the Secret Service. All the mystery, the action, the passion is just way irresistible.


3. Alex Band He's the lead singer of The Calling. Why? The voice, man. The voice. His voice alone makes me swoon. Pretty boy looks plus bad boy attitude, perfect!




4. John Rzeznik Ok, he may not be very attractive when it comes to physical appearance but he has this vibe. I don't care that he used to be a druggie either. All I know is that he's the lead man of The Goo Goo Dolls and I just worhip the band, I love all their songs, John Rzeznik writes most of them so that's it. How can you not fall for the lines Coming down the world turned over, angels fall without you there. So sweet!


5. Bernard Palanca In the local scene, I think he's the cutest. Rocker! He looks a bit Latin too. BJ is the ultimate hunk.


6. Gregory Peck Even if he's old now, I still like him. He is for me the Golden Boy of Hollywood.


7. Jude Law What a character actor! He was simply wonderful in Music from the Other Room. I like his creativity. He injects effective nuances into the characters he portrays.


8. Ethan Hawke Another character actor!



9. Hayden Christenssen a.k.a Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars . Intense! Even if "You're skin is so smooth" is such a lame line. I swear, I would kill a guy who tells me that. Except for Hayden Christenssen, that is.



10. my crush in Ateneo: beep beep All my friends agree to this. And yes, he makes it in the list alongside George Clooney, Ethan Hawke, etc. He could actually be an actor although he's too smart and too talented to be an actor. I'm not demeaning actors is any way but I think he'd just really shine in a different field.


RUNNER-UP LIST


Here are the other men I also find attractive but did not make it among my top ten.


* Ewan McGregor Great actor and great singer in one handsome package! If I were Satine in Moulin Rouge, I would not have second thoughts. 'How wonderful life is now you're in the world.'


* Chris O' Donnell I have had a crush on him back in highschool.


* David Blaine One hell of a magician! I would very much like to get inside his mind so that I'd know how he does his magic. I would also want to find out where his amazing philosophy about magic, about reality, about people, and about the world is coming from.


* David Boreanaz The vampire with a soul. Yeah, another pretty boy with a bad boy attitude. Well, I like him mostly because of the series Angel. I am a big fan of him and Sarah Michelle Gellar. I wish their loveteam in Buffy was continued. Still, he would remain my favorite vampire slash superhero. Yes, I like him better than LeStat.



* Orlando Bloom Yeah, yeah, he is attractive. I just do not want to be one of his millions of female fans going gaga over him. He has the face and the talent but he still has a long way to go. There is still so much room for improvement in his acting. I also like him better as the poor blacksmith in Pirates of the Carribean with brown hair and the rugged look. His Legolas character in The Lord of the Rings is so over-rated. He looks like a girl there.


I just noticed, I have a strange attraction to actors and singers (lead men of bands to be specific). And my type is so extreme - the charming pretty boy or the artist-type, musical, tattoo-wearing bad boy. Hmm... bad boys... there's just something about them.


TTA3. FAVE FOOD. YUM! YUM!


1. kare-kare (really my number 1) but no bagoong with it. I know that it is weird but I like it that way. I eat bagoong with mangoes and other stuff but I just do not like it with my kare-kare.


2. chocolate except dark chocolate


3. tahong, buttered


4. suha (No, hindi ako naglilihi.)


5. cinnamon roll 'coz I'm addicted to the smell.


6. McDo fries with sundae I even go to McDo Katipunan even if it's late just to have this. They don't deliver ice cream and fries. Sad!


7. Nanay Yoyo's menudo No one can cook menudo like Nanay Yoyo.


8. pinasugbo


9. pasta especially if white sauce


10. pizza with lots of cheese


* I'm basically a sweet-tooth, a future diabetic. I also prefer chicken and seafood over pork and beef even if I am not on a diet. I just like the taste better.

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A-OK

 
And the judgment is passed. I got my grades already so I finally have some peace of mind after stressing so much about it that busy busy Feb and that killer March. I admit I'm grade-conscious. I just can't help it. I have set standards for myself. Anyway, my grades are ok so I'm quite happy. And the bosses (my dad and mom) are happy too so that makes me even happier.


After getting our grades, my friends and I got together. We went to the mall. We talked, and talked, and talked. We swam. We sang karaoke. We ate, and ate, and ate. We slept a little. The next day, we went to Glorietta. We watched a movie Taking Lives starring the wonderful Lady Croft herself, Angelina Jolie and Ethan Hawke, and that guy from 24. I'm quite beat. I'll probably do nothing but sleep tomorrow.

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4.11.2004

EASTER TRADITION

 
Sunday a.m. The bati was danced infront of our house twice. It was great! Again, it's one of those traditions.


Every Easter Sunday, there is a Salubong of the risen Jesus and Mama Mary. The Jesus and Mama Mary floats are paraded from the opposite ends of the town and they meet in the middle, at the church. The men go with the Jesus and the women walk alongside the Mary float. Upon meeting, a child dressed up as an angel takes down the veil from Mary's head and declaims a prayer/poem while in a basket suspended up in a pole. It's sort of like talking to the people from the heavens. (I've been an Easter Sunday angel before when I was a kid. I don't really remember much of it. Mom and dad say that I memorized the prayer/poem by heart and I did well. I did not make a single mistake. They also said that I was so afraid to come up there. hehe...)


After the angel ceremony, a teenage girl carrying a small flag and four little girls called guias dance the bati. The bati is a greeting to Jesus, meant to symbolize the joy of the people because of the resurrection. It is enchanting! The bati dancers are in beautiful dancing gowns. The bati is divided into 4 dances - the bolero, the martsa, and I forgot the other 2. It's danced in the streets and the people give money - they pin it on the dancers' gown, they make a sash of money and give it to the dancers, coins are thrown in the street, etc. The money is given to the church of course. (I've been guia twice so I know the dances and I know how much fun it is. And again, there is a spirit of tradition in it. Plus, you raise money for charity.)


For this year, both the Roman Catholic and the Aglipayan churches in our town had the bati. My cousin from the father's side Guianna is the Roman Catholic bati's teenage girl. My cousin from the mother's side Lourdes is one of the guias in the Aglipayan bati. They were both beautiful. The Catholics wore a deep purple gown with spaghetti strap on one shoulder and a Greecian shoulder cut on the other. They had orchids in their hair. The Aglipayans wore a refreshing mint-colored gown with lots of beads. Guianna's gown was open-back. Very stylish!


I'm sure glad I woke up early for a change and I was able to catch it. After all, it only happens once a year. And it is yet another reminder of the richness of the tradition in our family, in my religions, and in my town.


Sunday p.m. We went to the wake of Lola Ilyang again and met more relatives. After that, we went to the mall. To the kind people there, please pray for the soul of my grandma.

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4.10.2004

7th HEAVEN

 
I'm watching the 7th Heaven marathon in Studio 23. Hehe... I know it's corny to some people but I've always liked the series.


I could relate to it. I love my family. I love them very much. Every single one of them. And 7th Heaven reminds me of my family. There are some problems every now and then. Each member has quirks that others overlook, faults that others forgive, good qualities that others celebrate. Every one of us loves one another.


"Seventh heaven/ when I see their happy faces smiling back at me/ Seventh heaven/ I know there's no greater feeling than the love of family/ Where do you go when the world doesn't treat you right?/ The answer is home/ that's the one place that you'll find/ Seventh heaven."
- Seventh Heaven theme

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4.09.2004

GOOD FRIDAY / HABERDAY

 
It's Good Friday and it's also the birthday of my dear cousin HANNAH. Happy birthday to you...


Well, what can I say? Nagluksa ang mundo sa pagkapanganak niya eh. hehe... joke! (You know we all love you. *cough, cough*)


We had an "under the sea" lunch at her house. Yum! Yum! The menu consisted of all sorts of seafood. Hannah has a Marina complex kasi eh. hehe... Seriously, I could've died with delight. Just imagine, there was shrimp, mussels, milkfish, squid, etcetera etcetera. And since they own the local distribution unit of Coca-Cola, softdrinks was bottomless. I probably gained lotsa extra pounds.


Then, in the afternoon, we fixed up the family caro (float). It's a family tradition. Every Holy Week, there is a procession in our town and featured are the floats of the saints and other figures. We have St. Peter (Patron of the Fishermen), St. Isidore (Patron of Farmers), Mary Magdalene, Veronica, Mama Mary, and the star at the end of the procession, Jesus Christ. Our family owns the Jesus Christ float. It is a wood and glass tombstone where the dead Jesus is put in after being taken down from the cross at the end of the Siyete Palabras (Seven Last Words).


Every Good Friday, the Ocol clan gathers at the house of one of my aunts, where the Amba Santo Sepulkro or the dead Jesus is kept at a small chapel. That is where we prepare the float. The Jesus is dressed in velvet robes. The float is covered with drapes. The machine to pull the float is attached. And we decorate it with flowers.


The kids and teens are assigned with the flower-decorating. I love it. We have flower themes each year. There was one time it was all peach roses. That was so beautiful! There was also the red flowers year where we put all sorts of red flowers. We also did yellow. We also used Malaysian. This year, it is sampaguita and white lilies. It looked so holy!


After the float was all set, we brought it to the church and we joined the procession. What a long walk! So tiring. Imagine, we paraded around the entire town back and forth.


But yeah, it was fun. It was very much in tune with the spirit of Holy Week. And it is a nice family tradition that bonds the entire clan.

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THE PEOPLE I LOVE

 
It's Holy Week and there's an air of prayer, conversion, and peace. In line with this, I'd like to internalize but do it in a different way. I'm making a list of the people I love. They say count your blessings. They are my blessings.


This is my way of saying thanks to them. And also, I wanna show them how proud I am of them. (Well, I am putting it on the internet for the entire world to see!) So here goes, in no particular order kaya walang magtatampo.


My family my dad: i wouldn't be half the person i am today if i did not have such a really intelligent, really loving, and really great mentor as my dad. my mom: she has always been on my side no matter what. and she's the only one who can talk to me during my topak moments. my brothers gil and richard. and yes, my sister ruffa, even if we have tampo sa isa't isa right now. i do love her. she's my only sister and sisters are special. i just wish she'd stop having boys at so young an age.


My relatives my lolo mong: who inspired me to be a lawyer. my lola meng: my first english teacher. made me love writing. nanay and tatay as well. all my nangsisindak titos and makukulit titas. you've really shown me what family means. my 30+ first cousins on both sides. the really close ones to me hannah, mickey, and tina. and my cute little boy cousins kokoy, tomtom, aldrin, basty. i just adore them.


My highschool barkada tintin best friend, mhinamins, mei chinky, chewi pie, carla. friends forever!


Mga Shungak mau, tin, mitzi, blooey, jing, chattie, taskeen, ken, josh, jay. you've made my college life so much fun! shungak talaga kayo! i learned lots of things from you. and you're really great company, so many laughtrips and memories.


Other Close Friends epao and jen from HS. hazel, sheryl, edely, gwen from GS. gwen garcia, jamie santos, sharon chua, the one and only diva, the Quickie Mart gang: yliebongga, tenten, judith, oli birdie, maui, zig.


My 'Kaladkarin' Dormmates ate laC: numero 1 ka talaga sa akin. roomie paula. matet and sweet. ate nina: laging nag-aalaga.


My Inspiring Teachers mrs. encabo, sir caloy, ma'am rica, ma'am chona, ma'am alma, sir wong, sir respeto, sir harry p.


People I've worked with in orgs The Guidon: edboard and ops team, BlueRep, The Assembly: especially the POLLiTALKS team bossing al, denise, twins melai and pau, detdet, janice, sheryl and the gang. Mulieris girls: go Mulieris! TNTs: "hey there TNT, you're a really cool cat. you've got a lot of this, you've got a lot of that." tr3s team: shungaks again and migs and coco.


Inspiration blueberry and orange: don't ask.


Even Acquaintances those whom i know from some unique incident and make me smile because of their kindness. it's really flattering when people come up to you and say they'd like to be friends. i don't know what you see in me but thanks nonetheless.


Just everyone in my life.
Thank you very very much for everything.

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CONRADO DE QUIROS

 
Conrado de Quiros is my favorite columnist of all time.


He is one of my heroes. And my friends Mau, Tin, and Jing know this because they are the ones who endure my incessant raving about him. I always rave about whatever witty thing it was that he wrote for the day. Reading his column There's the Rub in The Philippine Daily Inquirer is already a part of my daily routine. I look forward to reading the papers because of his column. As a matter of fact, when I get a copy of PDI, I immediately turn it to the Opinion section.


And his pieces make me smile. It is pure intellectual stimulation. I just can not believe that such genius exists. There is just something about his writing style. If I did not know him, I would think the writer of the work is a young, dashing, spirited UP student. He does not write bull****. He writes what he knows. Honest. Uncensored. In your face. No matter who gets the rub. His opinion is sound and I agree with him on almost everything. He speaks with authority but not in a condescending way. He has ideals but his perspective is always pragmatic. And he can be funny too.


He is for me the exemplar of political journalism.

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THE OLD WOMAN

 
Wednesday night, we went to the wake of Lola Ilyang, the last among my deceased grandpa's siblings.


I remember when we visited her in the hospital a few months ago. She was already weak but she still had a joyful disposition. She talked to me and she kept caressing my hair. I touched her too. And her hair was so fine and so soft. Her hands, though bony, were smooth. She was so delicate. Everyone says she was quite a headturner when she was young. It's not hard to see. She's one of those people whose looks only changes but does not fade with the passing of the years.


As I approached her coffin, I didn't know what to expect. I was hesitant to take a peek. I'm not scared of looking at dead people but I didn't want to be disappointed. I wanted to keep that image of her at the hospital as my last memory. But curiosity got the better of me and so I looked. What I saw surprised me. There she was lying on a white coffin, lifeless, more aged but still so beautiful. In fact, even more beautiful than when I last saw her. She wore a white beaded gown and she looked like a doll.


I think and I'd like to believe that the reason why she was still so beautiful in that coffin is because she had been a good person and she died at peace and full of love.


I want to dedicate this poem in her memory:


The Old Woman
by Joseph Campbell


As a white candle
In a holy place,
So is the beauty
Of an aged face.


As the spent radiance
Of the winter sun,
So is a woman
with her travail done.


Her brood gone from her
And her thoughts as still
As the waters
Under a ruined mill.


May she rest in peace with the Lord.
I'm sure she'd be a beautiful angel.

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SLEEPLESS NIGHT

 
It is already 3 a.m. and I am not one bit sleepy. This is so weird. Ask my family and friends, this is like a once in a blue moon sorta thing. I am always sleeping. I mean, ALWAYS. And I even sleep early most of the time. If I do not because of gimmick or school work, I make up for it. I am the I need at least 8 hours of sleep type of person. What is wrong with me? It is not like I'm stressed. As I have said in a previous blog, I am living the life of a professional bum. And my body IS tired. We went swimming this afternoon. I swam for hours. Oh crap! I think I will just write more blogs. Hopefully the writing will make me sleepy. I have a big day tomorrow.

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I-MAGAZINE

 
I got published in I-Magazine! Hurrah!


I-Magazine is a publication of the Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism (PCIJ). And PCIJ is one of the most respected institutions in the field of journalism. So I am really really happy to see my work there.


I have been published quite a number of times. I have written editorials, features, and even headline news once when I was working in school papers. But I am still excited each and every time I get printed. I admit that a byline is a boost to the ego. But more than that, it is being read that makes writing worthwhile. There is nothing like having the power to reach out to other people. You get to convey an important message to them. I would be happy even if just one person reads my work and he/she gets something from it.


I know that I still have a lot to prove when it comes to being a writer. In fact, I do not see myself as a writer - professional writer type. I just like writing. And I learn a lot from it. I just want to hone my skill to the best I can. Getting published in PCIJ is a step nearer my goal.


By the way, I would like to say thanks to Ms. Luz Rimban. She was my teacher in Broadcast Journalism and she was the one who referred me. Thanks for the wonderful opportunity! And thanks for the trust. (Guess I was the first student who crossed your mind when they needed a piece from a first-time voter. A PolSci and Comm background is sure useful. I.S. rules!)


I tell you, I am going to laminate this piece!

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4.08.2004

SI AIDA, O SI LORNA, O SI FE?

 
I am experiencing LSS (Last Song Syndrome) and of all the songs to have LSS on, it is this old Pinoy song that goes Si Aida, o si Lorna, o si Fe?


For crying out loud, I do not even remember the rest of the lyrics. I could only recall that one line. The song is about this guy having a hard time choosing between his girls Aida, Lorna, and Fe.


Actually, I thought about the song while thinking about the elections. I feel like asking *sing along with me* Si Gloria, o si Roco, o si Ping? Hehe. (Note: I am also considering FPJ and Bro. Eddie, it just so happened that the number of syllables of Gloria, Roco, and Ping fit the song.)


That is exactly how it feels. It is so hard to choose whom to vote for because of course, I want my vote to be an intelligent vote. God, responsible voting is the least we could do for this country.


So who would it be? Hmmm. What a tough choice! Applying the idea of the song to the situation, this is harder than choosing among suitors.

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PARU-PARONG BUKID

 
I watched GMA 7's I-Witness the other night. The topic was political turncoatism. They interviewed politicians who have jumped ship from the administration to the opposition, from the opposition to the administration, and to and from the administration and the opposition.


The topic sure is interesting. It is an undeniable phenomenon in Philippine politics. Self-interest rules. We see it happen and most remarkably during elections.


There is Loren Legarda, who after endearing herself to the Filipino people with her tears during the impeachment trial broke away from Lakas because of what she cited as differences in opinion. I guess that was ok. However, that she became the running-mate of Da King soon after made people doubt whether it was really a difference in opinion. Some say that Loren's motive is clearly political ambition. There is also lolo politician Juan Ponce Enrile. (Well, he has been in politics all his life.) My dad told me that some people say Enrile is the best president the Philippines never had. There is Rodolfo Biazon, also a famous legislator. There is the ever-controversial Miriam Defensor-Santiago who, true to her nature, made interesting statements during her interview.


They were asked why they turned balimbing. As expected, they claimed that their political realignment is not an act of turncoatism. Loren even said, I am not a vice-president for sale. What a winner statement! They said that they were not Judases and gave many reasons.


1. Difference in opinion with their party
2. Practicality - You cannot win in an election when you are not with a strong group, one of the mainstreams so that would be either the main administration or the main opposition - Lakas or KNP.
3. They were independent. Some maintain that they are independent even if they are campaigning with a party, different from their previous party.


Well, they may be right. They may be wrong. I can not distinguish noble from despicable intentions under those straight faces and impressive political jargon. And I do admire the record of accomplishment of some of the turncoat candidates mentioned. I honestly do not know what to think or whom to believe in anymore.


But more than that, what truly disturbs me is that it seems so easy and it is so common, almost natural, for politicians to shift from one party to another. Political parties are supposed to represent ideologies. They reflect political will, cohesion, virtues - everything about being a statesman more than being a politician. If they can be dropped just like that when there is an offer from another party with better resources, what does that say about our system? Gamitan na lang ba talaga? I sure hope not.


I agree with Nene Pimentel when he said, Our party system is rotten to the core.


What a sad, sad state of affairs.

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THE LIFE OF A PROFESSIONAL BUM

 
It is summer break and so I am living the life of a professional bum. On the days that I am not out on gimik or some family affair, my day goes like this:


Sleep until noon. Eat Lunch. Watch TV. Bathe. Eat Snack. Nap. Watch VCD or DVD. Eat Dinner. Surf the Net. Watch more TV. Sleep.


It is basically a variation of sleeping, eating, and watching TV.


Ah, this is the life! :)

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GIRL POWER

 
I want to be Sidney Bristow. I want to be Buffy Summers. I want to be Lara Croft. Femme fatales. They kick ass!


I want to be Princess Diana. I want to be Princess Mia. I want to be Princess Sarah. Genuine princesses. Princesses with both the crown and the heart of a princess.


I want to be Madonna. I want to be Gwen Stefani. I want to be Fergy. Women who rock!


I want to be Julia Roberts. I want to be Audrey Hepburn. I want to be Ashley Judd. Real stars.


I want to be Celine Lopez. I want to be Maya Calica. Fashion and society gurus. They write about women and understand what being a woman truly is about.


I want to be Elizabeth Bennet. I want to be Bridget Jones. I want to be Becky Bloomwood. Alive in those pages. They are the best heroines in print.


I want to be my grandmother. I want to be my mother. They have built homes, raised families, and touched lives.


I admire these women. I admire all the women who work hard. I admire women who make something of themselves. They make a difference.


I want to be like them in my own unique way.

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4.06.2004

YET ANOTHER DIARY

 
Ever since I could remember knowing how to write and having something to write about, I have always kept a diary.


It started with flowers, candies, and balloons (anything that made me happy) drawn in loose sheets of paper with a label and the date. At the time, I did not know that it was going to be the start of my love for writing and it would be a valuable memorabilia. I just did it for fun. I just wanted to keep a record of the things I discovered, the things I love, and the people I love. It also served to cheer me up. Whenever I was sad, all I had to do was look at my drawings and after a while I was ok.


Then I moved on to one sentence entries like Me, mommy, and daddy went to the carnival and It is raining and dad says I can not go outside to play in stapled pieces of Tweety and Hello Kitty stationery. It sure helped me in my English classes. Whenever I thought of something or felt something, I found myself formulating sentences to express myself.


When I was given notebooks in grade school, I asked my mom to buy me a small notebook and that became my first real diary. I finished one notebook each year. For Grade 5 and Grade 6, I had regular-sized notebooks. Writing had become a daily habit.


There was so much to write about during highschool. There were new experiences, new friends, crushes, heartbreaks (what my naive mind considered a heartbreak), and there were secrets (many of them) so I bought big beautiful diaries with locks. My diary had an added function. It was a vent for my teenage emotions.


I now have an entire volume of diaries. If someone were to write a biography of me when I die, he or she would only have to find where I keep my diaries and he or she would not need anything else. That is my entire life chronicled in there. In vivid detail.


Once, I actually had enough time and patience to read all my diaries. It took me 4 hours. Well, ok maybe it should have only been a 2 or 3 hour read, but I could not stop laughing and crying while reading it so that took some time. I could not believe how moody I was, or how paranoid, or how observant of the slightest details. I also found myself editing some of my early stuff (You would really see my writing progress). There were some code names I could not figure out (I had code names of colors and flavors of cake!). But grammatical errors and puzzling code names aside, I am really thankful that I kept diaries. It was a wonderful trip down memory lane. My diary is my life in print. Needless to say, my diary is a very dear part of me.


I still keep a diary now but I do not get to write in it as much as I would like to because I could get really busy sometimes. Also, my diary now is not just a diary anymore. It is also a collection of essays and poems.


Recently, I got absorbed reading the blog of my friends. Since I like writing anyway and I am on the net pretty much everyday, getting my own blog seemed a good idea. I was a bit hesitant at first because even if I am an open and expressive person, my writing is something personal. But then, I have always had this I want to share and make a difference instinct so I finally decided to get a blog.


Writing is something I really enjoy doing. You could even say that it is a passion. Preserving memories has kept me grounded and in-tune with my past. So I guess my writing is now moving on to a higher level.


Here is yet another diary in the Rachelle collection. Welcome to my world!

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GIRL INTERRUPTED

GIRL INTERRUPTED

GIRL INTERRUPTED


Hi! I am Rachelle and this is my online journal.

Hear what I have to say. Look and see inside of me. Enter the mind of a girl, interrupted.

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About the girl:
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The world is my notebook. Here are my scribbles:
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Lines running over and over in my head:
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Other worlds of words:

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Centerfold:
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Back Issues:

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