Yes, yes, yes I know... I've practically dropped off the face of Bloglandia. And I have no excuse. Except for the lack of courage to just say things. Without creativity. Without hype. Without reason. Guess I've been too used to preparing and organizing and packaging and all the stuff that are great but don't really matter. So it's always the same thing: half an entry saved as draft (sometimes a third, other times just an opening but whatever way, it's a beginning left at that) then another great idea comes along but the timing slips by. Voila! Blog inactivity. The side effect: too many words and feelings crowding this girl's already wayyyyyyy interrupted brain.

So here goes, time to as Mariah croons, "shake it off." Let's try some spontaneity.

BUMP, BUMP, BUMP

* I had a "little accident" just this afternoon. After finally proving to myself, my family, and my officemates that I can already drive (still not great of course but competent at least), I hit a truck which left my car's left rear side look like it's been used in an action flick stunt. No exaggerations! I'll post some pics when I get the chance. Talk about real stupid! Gosh!

I guess I don't really have much to worry about since it's a company car that's covered by insurance and the other party didn't complain or anything and at least no one got hurt, but it truly left me unsettled. I guess I'm just really disturbed by how I let something like that happen. There's something very discomforting about the randomness of it all. Made me feel small. Made me feel at the mercy of fate. Makes me blame myself for not doing this or doing that... all those little extras. I feel so out of control.

CAN THIS BE LOVE?

* On the lighter side (that's the only transition you're gonna get, I already warned you... this is newsflash without brakes!), I think I may be falling in love. Emphasis on may be. But I dunno. Really not sure just yet. But it's kinda messy and to some point pointless and hopeless. Let's see what happens. Can't really explain. Dunno how to put it. Will just keep you updated. Promise.

DRAMA QUEEN WORKING GIRL

* In terms of work, I got thrown into this big, exciting, frustrating, and promising thing. Some days I just love it and feel so lucky and feel I could really make a difference. Other days I think it's all bullsh*t. But at least my days never pass without drama. You know me, your little drama queen, always looking for excitement, for a challenge, for something meaningful. If all turns out as I planned and am working hard for, this just may be the magic I am looking for.

THE DEATH OF PRINCE

* My dog died.

I've always thought that line was cheesy. Up until I've had to say it and realized that it made me feel seriously bad, that is.

As cheesy as it may sound, I really loved Prince Eric. He taught me to be open and to love. Yuck! Parang boyfriend... But seriously, kasi I've never had a dog before due to my brothers and sister's asthma that prevented us from owning any pets. So when it was finally ok for us to have a doggie, I really showered my affections on the pup. And though I was afraid at first, coming near him slowly and having to have him bound by a leash at first, I gradually just let go. And it was at that that I truly enjoyed having a "bestfriend." He'd come to me as soon as I get home. I'd feed him and stroke the back of his ears. He'd follow me wherever I go. I really loved that dog. So please no one underestimate the emotions that come with a "My dog just died" line ever again.

In loving memory of my real life prince, Prince Eric

TIME FOR CHANGE, TIME TO SPEAK, TIME TO ACT!

* From sad to sadder... I feel really angry about the political situation right now. Seeing Gloria Macapagal Arroyo remain in power, doing one horrible thing after another, all the while feeling smug 'coz again she got away with it, is enough to make me want to pull all of my hair out.

I say bullsh*t to everyone who claims we should bear with her since most of our politicians are liars and thieves anyway. Not just because something is rampant doesn't mean that it is right, that it should be allowed. If for anything, this should open our eyes to the scam that is shaming our country.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not calling for a violent means to overthrow the government. But I can't just sit here and take all of these in. I want to speak. I want to act. Like I feel a big part of the silent majority are starting to feeling but don't know how exactly to go about.

It's definitely time for change. Should Mother Philippines call out, I'd be here, more than willing, to join the battle for democracy and honesty and the good of all which this stubborn government doesn't seem to have a care about.

And I invite everyone else, especially my sector--the youth, to join in.

More from this girl's mind in the coming days... Realized can't live without my outlet. Writing keeps me sane. Read more about my insanity. Hopefully, could fix the cuckoo in my head...