GIRL INTERRUPTED
GIRL INTERRUPTED
11.30.2004
I'M FREE!!!
Hallelujiah!
I know that my celebration sounds so mababaw (shallow) but if you are going through the stress I am going through, you'd get why this is a big deal. More working time and some sleeping time for me. Yey! Thank you Sir.
11.28.2004
THE LAE REPORT
JOY : DESPAIR
a) happiness : bliss
b) idealism : cynicism
c) failure : trial
d) love : friendship
Answer: B (Joy and despair are antonyms. Idealism and cynicism are also antonyms.
(Note: Format taken from analogy sections in aptitude examinations.)
My brain hurts. Seriously. I feel a pounding up there that's worse than a hangover. At least in the case of hangover, one can say he/she had fun drinking the night before. With taking a test, it's all loss and no gain. From joy to despair. From idealism to cynicism. All in the span of one Sunday morning. Boo!
To say that I am not expecting to get into the U.P. College of Law is an understatement. That test of theirs drove me nuts! Well, I probably deserve it because I was not prepared. See, I have been busy with thesis writing the whole week so I only got to "review" yesterday. Now I know that studying the day before just using sample tests is not the best way to go. Tsk... tsk... I will really study for the Ateneo Law test. I can't afford to botch that one!
Some notes:
* Well actually, I found the English stuff like vocabulary, analogy, logical reasoning, and identifying errors relatively easy. (If only they weren't too long!) Thank goodness for the numerous writing classes I took as well as all those articles I edited for publications. Unfortunately though, those were the only items in the test I found easy.
* It was the Math that did me in. I HATE MATH! I HATE MATH! I HATE MATH! I know that there's a need for some Math in law school for corporate lawyer stuff like torts, contracts, etcetera. But why can we not just do away with it? (Note: Rhetorical question. Pure whining.) When the proctor announced that the time is up, I was only halfway through the 40 damned math problems. I just wrote 2 (the multiple choice system was 1-4 instead of a-d) for all that I wasn't able to answer. I figured it was better to try than have no answer. Argh! So pathetic!
* Essay. Um, the question was really predictable, semi-no brainer (Note: I won't reveal any questions included in the LAE 'coz U.P. might come after me. Disclaimer: These are just MY impressions and judgments.) But I felt constrained by the time and the space. I had so much to say and I spent more time than necessary cooking up a "whoah!" introduction and designing my piece's structure. I'm afraid it might have come off as half-baked because I wasn't able to finish.
Waaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's a thousand and a hundred bucks down the drain. Not to mention time, effort, and dreams.
11.27.2004
OPEN LETTER TO A CHAUVINIST PIG
I am writing to you because I can not let the International Day to End Violence against Women pass by without giving you a piece of my mind.
It has been said time and time again that women's rights are fundamentally human rights. But it seems that you can not understand this. So I will do all I can to make you understand.
First of all, violence is not limited to physical abuse. There are many ways to damage a person's spirit aside from inflicting wounds and bruises. The purple and green marks are in themselves traumatic inscriptions the victim will bear forever. Disrespectful words, false rumors spread, harassment that breeds fear and contempt, and dirty looks that pierce through clothing breaking down one's confidence have the same if not more haunting effect. Store this in that often times not functioning or malfunctioning head of yours: Any act that reduces a person to mere object, any act that challenges one's humanity is a crime no court of this world can pardon.
What to you is a hobby, a favorite past time, of checking girls out (sometimes even grading them), calling them names, and hooting at them is a commodification telling of your lack of moral values. What to you is nothing but an economic bargain (prostitution, sex trafficking, mail-order-brides, human aquarium, prostituition, sex farms, etc.) is the shattered dreams and broken life of the person you are transacting with. What for you is simply putting an independent and aggressive woman to her place (via sexist remarks, the application of a double standard, discrimination in both small things and big things) is a form of oppression because you hold yourself supreme while confining the other to the margins.
I bet that at this point you'd be washing your hands and throwing remarks like "Well, you are a feminist so you are biased," "Males are victims of offense too," "Loosen up. Don't take such things too seriously," and "That's the way society works" straight at me. I am so used to you thinking up a "clever" excuse each time your wrongs are pointed out to you so I'm being truly clever and I'm answering your claims right here, right now.
"Well, you are a feminist so you are biased." Being a feminist doesn't automatically mean being a man-hater. In fact, that is one of the biases men have forced upon feminists to hush them. I am not going to shut up. I will be heard. Feminism is like political orientation, there are many kinds and sub-types within the movement. And stereotypes do not always hold true. Indeed, there are common characteristics but it doesn't warrant boxing one into a preconceived notion. Exert an effort to understand first before you judge. I am a feminist. I do not hate men. In fact, I love a lot of men-my dad, my brothers, my grandpas, my friends, etc. All I want is gender inequality. I am simply pointing out faults because I can not (will not) be blind and deaf. Like they say, all it takes for evil to prosper is for good men and women to simply do nothing.
"Males are victims of offense too." Now, when did I deny that? I am not denying that. That is true. Men, women, adults, children, Filipinos, Americans are all victims of violence at one point or another. Human suffering is a reality. It just so happens that women are common victims. It is because of the prevalence of violence against women that feminists, women's groups, and humanists have stepped up. Advocacy campaigns are not limited to a certain gender, age, nationality, religion, and whatever class. You are free to fight for the ideal you believe in. I have chosen to concentrate on the plight of women because it is something I am aware of, I experience, and I feel strongly against. I am a feminist because of other women.
"Loosen up. Don't take such things too seriously." That attitude is what has exactly allowed gender discrimination to exist. People do not take others' rights seriously. I will not be told to let this pass because this is something that shouldn't be let pass. Nothing is as important as morality, as respect, as equality, as freedom, and as justice.
"That's the way society works." Patriarchy indeed has been the norm in most (if not all) societies but it doesn't mean that it's correct. When one examines patriarchy, one will learn that it is something imposed by men. It is an attempt to maintain power institutionalized and perpetuated through socialization. Human judgment is not flawless. Any comment that we should stick to tradition, follow all the rules, and stick to what we've been used to is plain bull. Change should be applied where it is needed. Our society has long operated on a dominant-dominated ideology (the rich vs. the poor, the educated vs. the manipulated, the powerful vs. the subservient, and of course males vs. females) and it is about time that the walls be broken down. I have always believed that a reason for humanity's folly is the view that power, wealth, and dominance are what we should all strive for. History has shown us that it is love, care, cooperation, unity, equality, creative positive inner strength which yielded positive results. But we keep on insisting on these patriarchal values. A healthy dose of both types of values are what we need. Reason AND faith, the intellect AND emotions, science AND art and not one against the other are the elements that will make us move forward. We all need to recognize that.
It all boils down to a matter of respect. "Do not do unto others what you don't want others to do to you," said Confucius. "Love others as you love yourself," said Jesus Christ. "Look at women's rights the same way you look at men's rights since they're the same-they're both human rights," I say.
Women have been oppressed, violated, treated as inferior in so many ways each and every day for so long a time now. We've had enough. Mr. Chauvinist Pig, I do hope you mend your ways. I do not wish to argue with you but I will not keep quiet amidst your machismo and discriminating acts.
Babae ako! Itataguyod ko ang aking pagka-babae! Lalaban ako at hindi mangingimi, lalo na sa mga katulad mo!
Sincerely (but NOT YOURS because I belong to no one),
Rachelle (in behalf of every woman who wants to speak out to chauvinist pigs)
11.23.2004
GIVE WAY
AETAS, MA'AM YCAR, LOLA MARIBETH, ANELYN, SASSY, DIETHER AND KRISTINE
But ladies and gentlemen, I say to you: This blog ain't gonna die! Mark my words. True, madali akong magsawa at marami akong ek-ek sa buhay but I swear, this isn't going to be another one of my obsession-with-an expiration-date thingies. Writing is something I will NEVER get tired of. I mean, it's a part of my person. I guess I'll just have to steal some time every now and then. But dear readers, do hang on.
Okay, now that Girl Interrupted and I are back together, on to the chika:
* A salient feature of the Ateneo curriculum is the immersion program. Students are sent to marginalized groups like farmers, fishermen, the urban poor, the sick, indigenous people, poor students, etc. Living with them for a period of three days, the student gains a true and deep encounter with the harsh realities of life thus making him/her appreciate life's blessings and see what really matters.
As you could probably guess, I'm looking forward to this program. I really am a sucker for these makibaka things. Immersion is corny and a real pain in the ass for a lot of Ateneans (especially the rich maaartes) but the activist (feminist, socialist, and actually just plain humanist) inside of me can't help but feel excited.
The class has already been divided. I'm a member of an all-girl group, mala-girl band. Hehe... :) When I was a junior, I've always thought I'd be going with my barkada but because registration has sent us in different directions, this has become my fate. Surprisingly, I don't feel the slightest bit of regret. In fact, I feel really happy and really lucky. No offense to my friends (Shungaks, I love you all!) but this arrangement has its benefits:
1. the independence I have always been independent and not clinging on to friends and approaching this experience and embracing it as an individual is
something I look forward to. I really want to grow. To the fullest.
2. the new friends I've already talked to my groupmates the first day of class and I like them. One has even been a classmate in a PolSci subject.
3. the suspense Just being thrown into this thing I have absolutely no idea what to expect from gets my blood going.
And guess to whom and where we got assigned? To the Aetas in Tarlac!!! I admit I'm a little scared, partly because of a cannibal stereotype I know I shouldn't be thinking about 'coz it isn't true anyway (I just can't help it!) and partly because of the thought of three days with no C.R. But Rachelle stew and constipation aside, I really dig this. Adventure! Walang arte! It's time to get down and dirty.
* Both Mulieris-sponsored ACP classes went great! Note: not just well or fine. GREAT! Success talaga! Every single detail of the Women in the Corporate World: An Asset or a Liability talk was well taken care of. From the Mulieris kits with primers, org info sheets, and supplies to the smooth-flowing program, witty hosts Charvic and me (ahem!), the active participants, and everything else - the talk was a big hit. I especially loved the speaker, Ma'am Ycar. She has accomplished so much (being Citibank's AVP, making Womanity's '10 Most Successful Philippine Women' list, being an HR consultant, being a teacher, being an artist, being a business woman, writing on the side, etcetera etcetera) yet she's so down-to-earth. And I really like her message: options. Women, actually anyone, shouldn't feel confined or diadvantage. It's all about believing that you could get anything you want, being confident and optimistic, and of course working hard.
At the end of the talk, some participants even approached us asking how to join the org. That was soooooo flattering! I am so happy. Things are really working out for Mulieris. It's just ... happening. I really love Mulieris. I've always been committed to the orgs I join (otherwise, I wouldn't have joined) but this is different. This is something else. Mulieris is my baby. I can not convey the sense of fulfillment I feel.
Aside: Thanks pala to my dad for lending us capital. Even if the money was to be reimbursed by ACP immediately so it really isn't that big a deal, I must say that I felt my love for my dad double, triple, multiply a lot of times (even if I already love him dearly to begin with!) when all he asked when I relayed our money problem was "Magkano ba kailangan niyo?". He handed the moolah to me without hesitation. Dad, thanks for supporting my "social project." I know you're not exactly thrilled at the idea of your daughter going out there and following her feminist ideas. But I really need to do this for me. I was born for this. I know it. I can feel it. I'm really thankful for the support.
* The second ACP class Ka-kosa: Discovering Life Behind Prison Bars was an even bigger hit. We got a tour of the Women's Correctional Institution, listened to a talk by the prison administrator, and socialized with the inmates. It was so fantastic that I am reserving the story for another blog entry. A paragraph or two can't tell it all. It was life-altering. I will never forget Lola Maribeth and Anelyn. I'll give the UP LAE this weekend my best shot in the hopes of becoming a lawyer and helping people like them. This was the sign from God I've been waiting for.
Special Shout-Out: To all the Mulieris girls (and the few guys, so admirable!) especially Joyce (the president and my partner in crime), I love you. You are like sisters (and brothers) to me. Thank you for the vision, the passion, and the hard work. Congratulations to us! Here's to Mulieris!
* iATENEO is also doing very well. We've just had a new layout and opened a forum section. The articles just keep on coming and the readership is rising. The comments we get are very good too. If you haven't visited the site yet, do so now. Check out http://www.iateneo.com.
Although I learn a lot from joining orgs and just being offered a position is flattering, I truly felt like I was in for a hanging when I said yes to both Mulieris and iATENEO early this year. Yes, there are times when I've had to split myself. But generally, I'm happy that both groups are doing great. If you ask me now, I will not leave either. Even if I am offered money or whatever.
The only downside is that I haven't been able to write a new article for iATENEO because it's hopeless with my current schedule. Sassy, hang on for the rest of your
series. I'll work on it as soon as this chapter of my thesis is done.
* After the trip to the Correctional, some of us Mulieris girls went out. I was already very tired and my body ached for the smoothness and softness of my bed but they really woke me up. Between Charvic's hirits (ranging from funny, corny, green, dark, and just plain weird), Patty's forbidden fantasies (who-hoo!), and Paula's crazy Sandara fanaticism ("In or out. Am I in or out?"), I had a very enjoyable and "liberating" evening. We chowed down food like hungry hyenas, walked along Katipunan in all the street's dark glory, caught the attention and probably the irk of other FX passengers, made fun of Bcuz of U, stuffed our faces with popcorn, and went home running in the rain. These girls are all demented. And I fit in with them so well being a looney myself.
Ahhh!!! Everything is going so well.
Even with thesis and a gazillion readings, I'm having a splendid time! It's been quite a while since things worked out for me. I'm really savoring the moment. It feels good to be awfully tired yet still be happy.
11.14.2004
TO MY NOW UNAVAILABLE CRUSH
(SAYING 'TAKEN' IS TOO MUCH)
I'm just sad for me.
11.13.2004
LITERA SCRIPTA MANET
Like now. With a very demanding, very time-consuming, and very stressful thesis as well as teachers giving quizzes left and right (It's just the first week! Why are they being such pains?), I don't have as much time to write articles, diary entries, sentimental poems, and blog entries as I'd like. This entry is just a little gift I am giving myself before the long weekend really feels loooooonnnnngggg with schoolwork. Really, I don't have time to listen to the voices inside my head (there's a loud incomprehensible buzz by now) and just write, and process things, and breathe.
It really bothers me. It is as though I am a mother who can't go to her little kid's piano recital because the boss won't let her. I feel like I am being deprived of an important part of my being.
Yeah, sure, I still get to write. But situationers, article summaries, and theological arguments ain't the same with own-idea-creative pieces. Of course, I also use my ideas there and the challenge of craft is still present. But it's just a different level. The things they make us write for most subjects in school are just-wing-it stuff. Bola papers. Texts I like constructing for the exercise. But using food for an analogy, they're all appetizers and side dishes.
I feel contained. I want the main course!
School shouldn't get in the way of my writing. It shouldn't hinder me from my calling. Reading, writing, and living are far more important than some (just some, I'm qualifying) things they teach in school. School is good but it is not always the best place to learn.
Now I've come to realize that one of the reasons why I love writing is because it allows me to unleash my passions, pitch my crazy ideas, and form my character while having fun. I reach out to people through words, written and spoken. My space on earth is paid for by my service through writing. I am what I write.
Yeah, yeah... those sound like motherhood statements. But people who live in the world of words can tell that all of it come from my heart. And I'm sure they can relate to the experience. I don't want to do an ode-to-literature corny act but it must be said that literature (and journalism, actually) play/s very important roles in individual lives, in history, in reality as we know it.
Let me share a popular line.
Litera scripta manet. The written word remains.
11.12.2004
QUIZ GALORE!
I know. I know. This is low and overdone. But aside from the fact that I need fillers to keep my blog alive (I'm so brain-dead and so pressed for time that I can't write a decent entry), quizzes are a guilty pleasure. So please indulge my vanity and shallowness.
IF I WERE A DESIGNER, I WOULD BE...
DIOR. A party animal, you adore excitement. You are outgoing and gorgeous. A total glamazon, guys love your sexy short skirts and low-cut-but-ever-so-fashionable tops. You like to play with men. Being in a long-term relationship just doesn't fit your party-'til-the-break-of-dawn mantra. You love being a girl and take full advantage of your power over men.
| I AM A DRAMA QUEEN! Congratulations, you should win the Oscar for performance of the year! You're the type of girl who everyone knows - and loves or hates. You always speak your mind, going for some shock value if necessary. Dramatic, yes - but it also almost always gets you what you want. |  |
I totally agree! Well, there are low points in the life of a drama queen. Duh! That's why the person is called a drama queen in the first place. Her life is so full of ups and downs, really high ups and really low downs actually. Anyway, one of the hazards of the trade is coming across as a b*tch. But I like myself like this. I mean, why should I give a damn about other people? Those who judge easily are either stiff, all-rational, unexciting people or (also) dramatic people who want to keep the limelight on their own egotistic faces. I wouldn't wanna be friends with them in the first place. So I really couldn't care any less.
And everyone should know this, it is ideas PLUS emotions (not just ideas, not just emotions, must be a balance of the two) that lead to self-reflection and awareness thus productivity and meaning. I really don't get why emotions are seen as negative, delegated to women, and deemed to be inferior to rationality. People have a wrong understanding of emotions. Maybe it's 'coz they can't deal with it properly. I say: Blame the being and not the object.
WHAT KIND OF A BLOGGER AM I?
| I am a Pundit Blogger! |
Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read. Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few. |
| I am a Life Blogger! |
Your blog is the story of your life - a living diary. If it happens, you blog it. And make it as entertaining as possible. |
Quizzes courtesy of http://www.quizilla.com
11.06.2004
20 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULDN'T POST YOUR PICTURE ON THE INTERNET
Check it out! I swear you'll be glad you did. My sides still hurt because of laughing my head off.
LUNDAGIN MO, BABY!
Bago ninyo isipin na ako ay namimilosopiya bunga ng pagbubukas ng semestre lalo na dahil sa titulo na hango sa dakilang si Padre Ferriols, lilinawin ko lang, ang pagmumuni-muning ito ay dala lang ng kababawan, ng panonood ng For Love or Money 3. Hehehe... Pero pagbigyan niyo na. Mabuti na ring may napulot akong konting kalaliman sa konting kababawan. At nais kong mag-Tagalog ngayon. Bakit? Wala lang. Basta magbasa na lamang kayo.
Ganito kasi, pinili ni Preston ('yung searchee na sabi ko na nga dati hindi ko masyadong gusto, lalong hindi ko gusto ngayon) si Rachel (ang buwisit na manlolokong babae) kaysa kay Rebekah (ang gusto ko sanang manalo dahil mabait, maganda, at simple lang). Nalalabuan nga ako eh kasi mula pa sa simula ay pinakita na ni Preston na gusto niya ang parehong babae. Pero sa trio fantasy date nila ay hindi marunong makisama si Rachel. Napakasayang kasama naman ni Rebekah at sila ni Preston ay nag-enjoy ng husto. Akala ko tuloy, si Rebekah na talaga ang pipiliin. Aba, akalain mo, si Rachel the great b*tch pa ang napili. Nung nanonood ako, bigla akong napa-huh?
Ang sabi ni Preston sa confessional: "I had to choose the girl who was most sold on me." Eh siyempre 'yung nagkukunwari ang talagang nagpapakita ng intensiyon sa kanya, hindi nga lang niya alam na may masamang balak.
fpejfekbfiuehfewkbfcweyhf!!!!!! Nainis talaga ako! Tama ba naman 'yun? Akala ko ba eh pag-ibig at hindi pera ang layunin ng lalaking ito sa palabas na iyon? Pinangangalandakan pa niya sa mga confessional sessions niya dati. Tapos ngayon, eto.
Nang humupa na ang buwisit ko eh naisip ko, napaka-tipikal ng ginawa ni Preston. Kaharap ng dalawang babae na gusto niya at gusto naman siya, isinakripisyo niya ang mas gusto niya, ang mas mabuting ugali, ang posibleng mas malalim na koneksiyon para lamang sa higit na kasiguraduhan. Naisip niya siguro na mas may pag-asa siya sa isang milyong dolyares kay Rachel kung ito ang matira sa huli. Hindi talaga patas! Mali! Nakakainis!
Alam kong wala akong karapatang mag-alburoto at wala naman talagang may pakialam sa paga-alboroto ko (ginagawa ko lang ito para mabawasan ang init ng ulo) pero pasensiya na, hindi ko talaga mapigilang hindi kwestiyunin ang pangyayari.
Hindi ako makapagsasalita ng tapos at inirerespeto ko ang kaibahan ng mga bagay na pinapahalagahan ng bawat tao pero kung ako ang nasa posisyon ni Preston, pipiliin ko ang sinasabi ng isip ko at isinisigaw ng kalooban ko kahit na iyon ang mas mahirap at hindi siguradong pamimilian. Hindi ko maaatim na piliin ang 2nd best para lamang hindi mapahiya at maiangat ang pansariling interes.
Walang kadakilaang naaabot ang hindi marunong sumubok, ang hindi marunong magtaya, ang parating takot, ang hindi nagpapakatotoo.
Ang mensahe ko sa inyong lahat mula sa sabay na nakakaaliw at nakakapag-init ng dugo na palabas na ito: gawin ninyo ang tinatawag ng inyong pagkatao. Lundagin mo, baby!
11.04.2004
IN SERIOUS NEED OF FINANCIAL ADVICE AND BUDGETING SKILLS
So where did the moolah go? My two Literature classes each had about ten books on the syllabus. So being the bibliolept that I am, I already bought some of them. So Tartuffe, Candide, Jane Eyre, and House of Darkness are now part of my collection. They cost me about 1,000. (Actually, buti na lang the books are kinda cheap. Three of them are 200. 'Yung medyo expensive lang is Tartuffe, 400 kasi sa specialty bookstore ko nabili.) Add some school supplies and it's up to 1,300.
I also bought some groceries - the usual stuff (shampoo, conditioner, soap, noodles, cereal, etc.) Grabe, ang mamahal na ng bilihin ngayon! Kaya naman pala my dad ALWAYS wants to be the one steering the cart whenever we go to the grocery. He acts as some sort of check and balance! Haha... Ang arte ko pa naman when it comes to hygiene products. I go for expensive sweet-smelling shampoos and I always need two soaps - a skin-germ protection soap and a moisturizer. That's another 500 down the drain.
Lastly, I bought four loaves of bread. I don't know what went over me when I saw the yummy wheat breads in Le Coeur de France. At the moment, I thought: "Since the loaves are on sale (it was night already!), I can satisfy my craving and I could go on an all-bread no rice diet for two to three days." It seemed like a good idea when I was there. But now that I've downed one loaf, I'm already sick of bread! Ack! But I'm gonna finish everything even if it makes me not want bread for weeks after this. Ang daming nagugutom sa paligid, hindi ako magsasayang ng 200-worth of bread ano.
And I had lots of miscellanous expenses. You know how it is on first days - xerox, payments to the class beadle, 1x1 pictures, etcetera etcetera.
This is bad. I know that spending on books is never a waste. Actually for me, it's better to spend on books than movies. They're usually more worth it. And this is what I like about taking Lit classes, my book collection expands without me spending ('coz I reimburse kay dad - they are after all "school books") But still, money is hard to earn these days and I'm making big purchases. Oh, my dad is gonna go: "Ikaw talaga, ang gastos-gastos mo palagi" for the nth time. And the grocery and bread - it's making me realize how high the cost of living is. Some poor family can eat for maybe a week if I just gave them the money I spent on grocery. I'm sure not to get hungry with my daily baon anyway.
I know 2,000 isn't really much in terms of what my dad gives me but spending that much on just ME for ONE day amidst the POVERTY of A LOT of people around me really makes me feel bad. It's an indicator of my lifestyle. I'm sure if I just went a little lighter on spending on clothes, shoes, meals at restaurants, CDs, books, and all sorts of luxuries, I could help my dad and many poor people.
Money has never been a big deal to me because my philosophy is just to be happy. When I don't have money, it's okay. I just think, "It will come." When I do have money, I enjoy because I don't believe in hoarding it and saving it. I live on the now. But now I'm seeing that such a philosophy can only come from someone who's never had to work hard for money because it's always given - by dad, by mom, by relatives.
Oh, I am such a spoiled brat. I don't like it. I don't like the fact that I feel strongly about disadvantaged people (the poor, women, the uneducated), that I study their condition, and that I involve myself in organizations that seek to help them when all the while I am like a princess living in a high tower cut-off from reality.
I am in serious need of financial advice and budgeting skills.
11.02.2004
RELATIVES, WEIGHT, AND LOVELIFE
Tita: Rachelle!!!
* We do a beso. *
Tita: Uy, tumaba ka!!! Ang taba mo na!
* She then starts pinching me. *
Me: Thank you ha. (with LOTS of sarcasm)
* She seemed to notice that I was annoyed. *
Tita: Di bale na, maganda ka pa rin naman eh. (said in her best wag-ka-na-magtampo voice)
* I smile. *
(Inside my head: Thank you ha. Bumawi ka pa, harm has been done na ano.)
Mom: Rachelle, eto si (Forgotten Relative), pinsan ng kapatid ng apo ng tito ng.... ni ano.... na ano ni ano....
Me: Hello po.
* Nagmano ako. *
[After a few minutes of chika, chika consisting of my mom telling her my school, my course, my grades, that I'm graduating, my schedule for the next two days, etcetera, the color of my panties (well, not really, but other insignificant personal stuff like that), my love for shopping, where I got the sandals the relative was eyeing, etcetera, more etcetera...]
Forgotten Relative: Iha, may boyfriend ka na ba? (said conspiratorially, as if we're close)
* I smile. I've discovered that smiling is a good way to evade uncomfortable questions. Let them think what they want to think and believe what they want to believe. Basta I neither confirmed nor denied. *
Forgotten Relative (that I really want to forget): Ano nga? Marami sigurong gwapo sa Ateneo, ano?
(Inside my head: And what makes you think that? 'Di no, hindi porke taga-Ateneo ibang breed na. Syempre I love my school pero parang all-high and mighty naman ata masyado tingin mo. Ang mga klase ng gwapo sa Ateneo gwapo by virtue of face only, money only, or face and money only. Walang masyadong totoong gwapo as in beautiful spirit. Kung mayroon man, mukhang nagtatago sa akin or taken na.)
Me: Ay, ma, kailangan na nating bumalik.
* Pardon me but it was so much easier to say that than to say what I was thinking. I didn't want to explain and to be talked about all the more. *
What is it with relatives?
Every time there is a reunion or a dinner or whatever, they never fail to ask questions and/or make comments, sometimes unsolicited advice about:
1. your weight
2. your lovelife
Relatives can't seem to get that a person's weight and lovelife are the most private things. They think that because you share some genes they can probe into everything about you. Actually, they act like they have a right to know and say stuff. So what happens is that they are much more offensive than strangers when it comes to invading your privacy.
It makes me wonder if single, twenty or thirty something, fat, long-unseen-by-relatives girls and boys make up a huge chunk of those who commit suicide.
Relatives, weight, and lovelife simple cannot mix!
AN ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD HERO
But this caught my attention. I'm not sure if it's a true story or not since it's hard to fact check without the original source/s and everything. It sounds true enough (well, essentially although some parts seem over-played). Just the same, it's worth reading. The message applies no matter what.
I say: We should re-evaluate the way we look at people. Who and what rightly deserves our attention? How does media affect what matters and what doesn't? Are we seeing the big picture?
To stimulate critical thinking and also to serve as a form of support for Faye (the girl in the story), I am posting the e-mail (as is, of course I didn't edit out of respect even if my editing itch was bugging me). Here goes...
Jasmine Trias visited the Philippines very recently. Everyone was agog waiting to welcome her. The excitement was remarkable as the media and many of our kababayans flocked to the airport to see her. This scenario is typical of Filipinos. Sadly, it reflects our country's misplaced priorities.
Contest of the Mind
Another young girl came back to the country just a couple of weeks ago. Her name is Faye (not her real name). Unknown to her countrymen, this eleven-year-old girl brought honor to the Philippines. She represented the country in the Intercontinental Science Quiz Net in Australia. Out of 57 countries represented, Faye garnered First Place for the Philippines. Germany came in second while the United States came in third.In stark contrast to the hoopla extended to Jasmine Trias, Faye's arrival did not make any noise. Not a peep.
In an earlier competition, Mathematics for the Young Asians in Indonesia, Faye also came out in the Top Five. But just like the Australian event, this feat did not receive any recognition in our country at all. Our interests seem to be set on other "priorities."
We are more interested in promoting celebrity guests instead of educational and intellectual pursuits. Indirectly and quite obviously we are teaching our children that development of the external image takes priority over educational achievement.
Faye's story is inspiring. She comes from a broken family. Her father falsely claimed that he was unmarried when he married her mom. When her mom found out, she decided to raise up her daughter alone. Despite the difficulty, Faye in no way used it as an excuse for complacency in her studies.
In grade school, she was a consistent honor student. She took every academic requirement as a challenge. And she delivered. At one time, she submitted a project thesis in Australia that won The Best Physics and Science Award. The award qualified the Philippines to be one of the top 10 countries that would compete in Australia, among the 57 countries that joined.
Considering her family's financial constraints, she and her mom asked help from our government for their trip to Australia to claim the Best Physics award and to join the Science competition. They saw this challenge as a rare opportunity offered to Faye and her country, considering that only two Asian countries qualified - Japan and the Philippines.
Unfortunately, our government had other priorities. Mother and daughter then tried to ask help from individual senators and congressmen. All turned them down except for one who was willing to help, on condition that Faye should give public credit to the senator for supporting her even in the earlier competitions she joined. Out of integrity, the mother could not accede to this arrangement. Thus no outside help was found.
Faced with this situation, Faye and her mom took out all their savings and went out of their way to secure by themselves the additional finances needed.The only driving force behind them was their desire to give honor to God and to the Philippines. With the little resources they had, they went to Australia on September 17, 2004 for the competition. They claimed the trophy and cash award for the Best Physics thesis Faye submitted in Sydney and then flew to Brisbane for the quiz competition. No kababayan welcomed them in Australia except for a kind Filipina they met in the plane who assisted them.
As they were checking in at a hotel, the "kind" Filipina who volunteered to help them disappeared taking with her Faye's and her mother's bags, passports, and plane tickets. At that point, they literally had nothing left except for the few pieces of clothes and their faith in God. They had to sell the extra clothes left to be able to buy food. In need once again, they sought help from some of the Filipino officials in Australia but to no avail. Oddly, the Filipino officials there were too busy with other priorities, not minding to help a young girl and a mother who had no other desire but to bring honor to our country.
Given a budget for only a one-night stay at the hotel, mother and daughter had to check out the following day. Leaving their luggage on deposit and without money for transportation fare, they decided to walk two kilometers to the competition venue on their native Filipino costumes.If walking a two-kilometer distance were bad enough, how much more would be walking the distance on their native costume along the highways of Australia!
Upon arrival at the competition site, Faye and her mom were very surprised when they discovered that the delegates from each of the other countries were well supported by a band, a cheering squad, and a flag, while Faye only had her mother and the anxiety of lost passports and plane tickets. Worse, representatives of each country were required to decorate their booths. With only the three-piece costume they had on, Faye and her mom were even more surprised when the organizing committee awarded their booth as The Most Creative booth.
In the early part of the competition, Japan, Brazil and Spain were eliminated. As the only Asian country left to compete against six Western nations, the Philippines was cheered on by Japan. Faye was encouraged by her Japanese cheering squad, but in her heart, how she wished that she had her own countrymen to cheer her on. When Faye finally won first place and Philippines' national anthem was being played, she prayed silently thanking God for making her a Filipina. Despite all the painful experiences she had with her country, her priorities did not waver.
A Japanese diplomat was the one who helped Faye and her mom to secure temporary passports so they could return to the Philippines. The money they won was just enough for their fare back home and their temporary passport. When Faye was relating this story before a crowd, she said, "Let us love our nation, for nobody else will." Faye did not allow her painful experiences to tear down her loyalty toher country. She is not a celebrity but a servant out to serve her fellow Filipino.
A Small Way to Greatness
Our concept of leadership in this country is pitifully skewed. We mistakenly think that leadership is about "lording" it over other people. Christ corrected this distorted thinking when he said, "You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you, instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all." - Mark 10:42-44
Sadly, we are far from the precept of this truth. It is no surprise then that we have a dearth of real leaders in this country-leaders who would set the nation's interests above their own. In the same way, our concept of citizenship is damaged. Those seeking for social good for themselves are never willing to grant the same good to others. Hence it is common for us hear stories of Filipinos who take advantage of their fellow citizens. We want to be served, but we are unwilling to serve. We dream of becoming like Jasmine Trias. We want our children to be like her. We would rather spend on things that would make us look good instead of things that would make us grow in character. We prefer stardom glitter over service-oriented endeavors.
Quite the contrary, Faye spend sleepless nights studying to win the competition because she knows her priorities. Unlike Jasmine Trias, Faye did not receive a hero's welcome when she came back, but, young as she is, she keeps calling on Filipinos to love the Philippines because every Filipino is a valuable gift of God.
Life, really is not a matter of intelligence but a matter of setting our priorities right. The question is, what's our focus on: "grand" things that make us superficial or simple things that lead us tog reatness? Faye's story reminds us all to look within ourselves. This eleven-year-old girl could have complained to the media, but she did not. She went out of her own small way to bring greatness to this land.
Right priorities grant us wisdom. When properly set, priorities point us to the right people we need to invest in, the right use of our energy, the right resources to draw from, and the right endeavors to support. In the words of Faye's mother, "We all wanted to win, but success is not measured through by merely winning. It is measured through our hearts, if it is truly attuned with God all the time. It is all that really matters for we have only an Audience of One. Whatever we have achieved, big or small, remember one thing: it is for God and God alone. The King of the Kingdom of a higher world."
GIRL INTERRUPTED
GIRL INTERRUPTED
Hi! I am Rachelle and this is my online journal.
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