GIRL INTERRUPTED
GIRL INTERRUPTED
2.21.2005
LIST OF LASTS
Lasts for February 21 (Monday)
* last meal at Manang's - Manang's is an integral part of the Ateneo eating experience. Hindi ka Atenista kung di ka nakakain at least once sa Manang's. Talagang love na love ko ang kanilang famous inihaw, liempo, pork chop, and itlog at kamatis. All at an affordable price and set in a very cozy environment! (Does this sound like a promo? Hehe...) Haayyy... matatagalan siguro bago ako makakain ulit dun. But one thing is for sure, babalikan ko talaga ang Manang's. Gaya ng kinanta ng bata sa commercial, kapag kumakain ako doon, "Parang may isang anghel sa aking labi..."
* last guidance interview a.k.a. last psychotherapy session - I know that not a lot of people go to the guidance office regularly. In fact, some people probably haven't set foot on the guidance office since freshman year. But I am an oddity! I like going there. I drop by every sem and chart my progress/ask for guidance (duh!). I don't know. My problems, joys, vanity, crazy thoughts, et al compel me to go. It just feels good to talk and get things off one's chest. I'm lucky to have developed good relations with a certain councilor and made the most out of the services the office has to offer. This morning, we discussed career options and though I'm still confused, at least I now have some clear idea of my options.
* last carioca (I'm not sure if I got the spelling right!) - CARIOCA!!! Grabe, ngayon ko lang na-discover ito, mga January lang siguro kasi when I saw that mukhang flattened butchi na sweetened mala-banana que eh na-curious ako. I gave it a try and loved it! Magmula nun it has become part of my MWF habit. When the bell rings and announces my LitCrit class to be over, I run to the roving cafeteria in CTC and buy my treat for the day, carioca!
* last hang-out session at the Comm Dept - Well actually, more of studying than hanging out but it still feels good! I love the Comm Dept. Although it's practically another country (Jamie calls it "the island" whereas the college area is "the mainland"), it feels like the heart of the college area for me. It's just more homey compared to the other buildings which are stiff and boring. It's the only place with an open kitchen and sala. How more homey can you get? And the people! All the people I like best are there. Since it's the Comm dept, Ateneo's most creative, most funny, and most fun are there! I'm gonna miss it.
Lasts for February 22 (Tuesday)
* last Powerpoint presentation for school - There used to be a time when I didn't know how to make Powerpoint. Now I can't think of how I survived without it. It's so useful for reports, and pretty easy too (compared to Flash and videos and stuff). I owe a lot to Mau and Tin for teaching me during all those reports for Aesthetics class.
Anyway, I mentioned Powerpoint because I started my "A paper" (I asked my teacher if I could do an "A Powerpoint" instead so that I can put a lot of pics. He agreed on the condition that I retain the parts he required for the paper. Of course I said yes 'coz that made everything so much more easier for me.) about 1 a.m. last night and I got so caught up into it that when I looked at the clock, I was surprised to find out it was already 4:30 a.m. But guess what? I finished, ahead of time! Ha! One more requirement stricken out of my long to-do list...
* yet another last meal at Manang's - I couldn't help myself!
* last creative cramming with my friends - We had the launch of GO F.I.S.H. (Festival of Interdisciplinary Studies and Humanities) this afternoon. So we set-up the stage. Pass by Dela Costa and you'll see the nets with fishes that are our wonderful last-minute creation. Hehehe... ;) Check out the works of art too. It's inside, the exhibit part - "Fresh Catch." The I.S. week includes showing of the creative theses tomorrow at 6, Dela Costa. So plugging... go watch Kthe films. Then on Thursday also at 6 in Dela Costa but this time inside, in the big conference room, we'll be having I.S. night. My friends Mitzi and Josh are performing. It ought to be a lot of fun so catch it if you can.
* last overnight - It's my good friend Jamie Santos' birthday today so in just a few minutes she'll be fetching me and we'll have a sleepover at her place: celebration and review for Philo orals rolled into one no-sleeping evening!
* phone rings, Rachelle answers *
Okay, that was Jamie. She's on her way already so gtg! Tomorrow ulit.
Lasts for February 23 (Wednesday)
* last orals - After the Theo pair final orals yesterday and the Philo individual orals this morning, I wouldn't have any more orals in my life--pair or otherwise. Ma-mimiss ko siguro 'yung halong tension and excitement ng orals. Not to mention the dressing up which is an experience rin. Tsaka nothing can compare to that post-orals feeling. The 10/15 minutes of adrenaline rush, mental exercise, and use of charms makes one feel so alive. And I'll miss the A's of course. Hehehe... I got an A, flat 4, for Theo and Philo. What a nice way to cap my orals experience. Thanks Sir Manaloto and Sir Lagliva.
* last written exam - My very hard Western Literature exam is my last for this sem, this school year, this college life. I only have papers to finish until Monday.
* last trip to the library - Well, yeah, I'd need to go there for clearance but today's trip was the last actually going there to study. Siguro kahit after mga 5 years na I return as an alumni, I'll know my way around the library. Halos tumira rin ako doon nung nagre-research ako for my thesis! And how many books have I borrowed there, both required and for leisure reading? Grabe, countless! And of course, my fave xerox lady is there. Para mag-survive ng college, kailangan ng super close na xerox lady. Ate has helped me so many times especially during my last minute xerox-to-OHP-for-instat-report moments tsaka pagpapa-xerox ko ng buong libro na kailangan sa Lit classes at di ako makahanap sa bookstore. Ma-mimiss ko si Ate, her friendly grin and her crisp xerox pages. Talagang grateful ako sa lahat ng naitulong niya sa akin. At bukod pa dun, medyo may special significance rin ang lib sa lovelife ko dahil ang mga nerd na kinalolokohan ko tulad nina Orange at Yellow eh palaging nandoon. In fact, I associate certain spots in the library with memories of them. Si Orange sa Periodicals, si Yellow sa lib annex 2nd floor sa may bukana.
Lasts for February 24 (Thursday)
* last no class day - Argh! I'm gonna miss these "free days" 'coz I'm sure I wouldnt have any more come the time I get a job. Actually, I didn't really get to rest 'coz I was all over school researching for some final papers and interviewing for my final article. Still, having a spare day to be able to do anything one wants to is one luxury college has afforded me and I really don't want to let go of. *sigh*
* last extra-curricular activity - GO F.I.S.H!, the Festival of Interdisciplinary Studies and Humanities, culminated with a big performance night. My friends Mitzi and Josh performed some numbers from their creative theses ('coz they did albums!), there was lots of food (I love Yellow Cab pizza!), the ambiance was so cozy (medyo nag-moment nga ako eh! too bad sina Mau, Tin, Jing, and Bloo lang kayakap ko! whooshoo!!! sentir sentir!), the music was great of course, and it was just fun. Kakapagod pero ang saya!
Lasts for February 25 (Friday)
* last article - I'm sure I would still write (a lot actually!) after college but those would be "real-life writing" --either for my pleasure or for work. It wouldn't be the same as papers required for school that have both elements of adventure and frustration. There's adventure because choosing the topic is fun. Also, enjoying something that would earn one a good grade is hitting two birds with one stone. But then again, deadlines are always frustrating, especially when a case of writer's block sets in. It's good I have a steady supply of chips, rootbeer, sweets, and CDs to fight it. On the good side, deadlines serve as motivation. I can't believe I have written so many articles for writing classes and for iATENEO this schoolyear alone. I'm gonna miss my writing classes. I'm gonna miss iATENEO. But I'll never miss writing because I'll never stop doing it. You can trust that my byline will appear is some publication or another every once in a while.
* last all-nighter - This is in relation to that last article. Haayyy... sa wakas! Tapos na ang mga sabog nights for school!!! Siguro after my very last requirement which is due tomorrow, babawi talaga ako sa tulog. Hirap na hirap kasi ako sa sitwasyong hindi ako masyado nakakatulog. Alam niyo naman, I need my beauty rest. May pagka-mantika ako sa pagtulog. Miss na miss ko na 'yung kama ko! Grabe, ayos na ayos pa. Walang gusot ni konti. Kasi this week hindi ko nahigaan. As in! Not once! Nung Monday nag-all nighter ako to finish my "A PPT" sa Theo. Aakyat pa lang sana ako para magpahinga dumating na ang Theo orals partner ko na si Christcel so wala na. (Siguro medyo na-traumatize 'yun at the sight of me in sando and in shorts, super gulo ng buhok with bloodshot eyes when I let her in sa dorm!) Tuesday night I was at Jamie's nga. I was able to rest a bit nung Wednesday night although late na akong nakauwi from GO F.I.S.H.! pero di pa rin ako nakatulog sa bed kasi dito ako sa couch sa sala nakatulog. Nag-iinternet ako when I got transported to Dream Land. Sayang nga, naiwang bukas ang internet. Tapos ayun nga, I was up kanina. Haayyy... gagalawin ko naman ang kama ko. Aakyat na ako at matutulog dun for the first time ever this week.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..............
2.20.2005
THE FINAL STRETCH: WORK, MOMENTS, LIFE
On my to-do list:
1. study for Theo orals (8 topics, no thesis statements)
2. study for Philo orals (12 thesis statements)
3. study for Western Lit final exam (involves a gazillion novels we've taken up, okay... I am exaggerating, maybe about 10-15)
4. study for LitCrit final exam (Psychoanalysis, Marxism, Feminism, the works)
5. write two LitCrit readings (same submission date, individual, rushed, instructions given at the last minute)
6. edit yet another LitCrit reading (the one where I have a partner)
7. write an article (my final article for Writing about Culture class-THE BIG ONE)
8. write an article (something for iATENEO - like maybe the last of the Sassy Series)
9. do an A paper (Can you believe it? Those of us who have a pre-final grade of A need to do what our teacher calls an A paper before we get the A we already worked hard for. Double work! Argh! And it's not just some bola paper. It's an entire activity--a Christian community involvement thingee.)
10. finish homework (Yes, though classes have officially ended for seniors, I still have one homework. The teacher wouldn't let us seniors off the hook. She said we needed it. So we're still doing it and passing it online. I don't know whether I should be happy at the chance given or not.)
11. proofread WesternLit final paper (At least this one's easier to do than the others 'coz it's pretty much complete already and it's group work.)
12. edit and upload articles for iATENEO (I'm halfway, currently editing and uploading.)
Whoah! Writing those down in a single list (as opposed to my "activities per day" which is a much more manageable list) gives the thing full impact and quite honestly scares me. Needless to say, I am a very busy girl.
I need to summon all the strength inside of me, take that magic pill, shout "Darna!" avoid waking up the neighbors or envying my lowerclassmen dorm mates as they sleep in the wee hours, pray all the prayers I can pray, and just get through this.
* sigh *
Practically speaking, the last thing I need is a party. (And yeah, also procrastinating/taking breaks every now and then and blogging but those are minor.) But psychologically speaking, what I need is a party. So a party I inserted in my schedule.
Just a few hours ago, I came from the 21st birthday celebration of my dear friend Mitzi. It was held at Italianni's, Greenbelt. We had a nice, quiet, catching-up-on-life dinner. The food was delicious - pizza, pasta, and yummy yummy dessert! The company was fantastic. Mitzi's family, Chinkin, Mamau, Tintin, Bloomeowmeow, Task, Ian, and Ken were there. 'Twas also fun dressing up. I got to wear my new shiny-shimmering-splendid black mini (Aside: I wanted to wear it since last week but it's too flashy for school, I'm so glad I found reason to wear it.) Afterwards, us girl in our skirts and blouses with make-up and heels went to "Timezone" to release some stress. The punching games were especially attractive to us.
I must say, although the party delayed me from plunging into my ocean-deep work, it weirdly enough gave me some energy. And I attribute it to moments.
Still retained in my "poetic memory:"
- seeing my magazine-cover-worthy made up face (Pwede na ako maging make-up artist, I did my face in 10 minutes inside a moving vehicle. O 'di ba? Bongga!)
- being able to buy a cute kikay gift for Mitzi--black dangling pearl earrings (I really love buying and giving gifts!)
- Mitzi's lovely smile when she first saw me, being thankful that I came 'coz a lot of other people who are busy didn't go
- the beautiful sight, sweet smell, and delicious taste of the very very sinful desserts (cheese cake, ice cream cake, and a choco choco something)
- Mau's "Eba" look eating that strawberry and being reprimanded by Tin thus having a caught-in-the-act guilty look
- Tin, Mau, and I laughing over a game of "Bishi Bashi"
- goodbye and good night hugs and kisses
- the sight of my parents (who so sweetly had an impromptu date just to bring and fetch me sa party) sitting in a dusky table by the fountain having a "Lovers in Paris" moment
Actually, sobrang babaw lang ng mga 'yan but they were the nice little warm moments that made the day beautiful.
Like I said at the beginning of this entry, "Life is a series of moments." At times when we are too tired and too busy, it's nice to pay attention to moments. The problem with us kasi is masyado tayong nakatingin lang sa isang direksiyon minsan na hindi na natin napapansin ang ganda ng paligid. Putting my to-do list and poetic-memory list side-by-side, I see that the effort I put into life and into all the things I do is worth it because despite all the hardship, the darkness, and the pain there is success, light, and happiness. It's just a matter of taking a moment to experience life's moments.
Good luck to all the seniors this final week! Mag-moment na lang kayo para masaya tayong lahat.
2.14.2005
Remember, February 14 is not just about having a boyfriend or receiving roses and chocolate and bears (although I admit, those are cute too! so flattering!).
2.07.2005
WAITING (HOPEFULLY NOT IN VAIN)
I've never been good at waiting. That's the one thing you can't ask me to do. I'll work. I'll argue. I'll settle. I'll do what needs to be done. But I won't wait (not unless I have absolutely no choice and I've already tried creating a choice and failed). My philosophy: All things should be settled, and they should be settled fast.
But with regards to getting a job, it really isn't my call. *pun fully intended* So here I am waiting. Waiting. Waiting. And waiting some more. But hopefully not in vain!
The waiting time allows some paranoia, some frustration, some excitement, some worrying, some optimism to seep in. And frankly, I'm not liking it. Why can't they just say, "Congratulations, you will now work for us" or "Sorry but we're not accepting you" immediately and flat out to your face? What's with the game, the desiring and the denial and the hoping? And this is the worst kind of waiting. If they had said, "Thank you, please wait for our call," I would have gotten the "message" all of us knows is in that statement and forgotten all about them 'coz they probably would not call. But the interviewer pretty much gave me good signs all throughout the interview and told me to attend one of their meetings as a trainee and said "I'll call you to confirm the details of that." To confirm the details. Not the arrangement itself. And as a trainee. They wouldn't train me if they had no plans of taking me in. So I'm right in hoping and thinking I have a really good chance, right? But there still hasn't been a call. Argh! This is killing me!
2.06.2005
PARANOIA
I got a 4.0 for what I described as "the weirdest Philo orals ever."
So the results are out: My biggest problem is ME! Ha! Lakas talaga ng topak ko minsan. Haha...
2.03.2005
WEIRDEST ORALS EVER
I actually knew the material since I've read the book, I've been listening in class, and the concepts are very universal makaka-relate talaga ang lahat. I prepared an outline of my answer for each thesis statement, went there early, and dressed up. So I thought butterflies in my stomach aside, I pretty much had it made.
Then it happened.
I got 6 on the dice (the wildcard since there are only 5 thesis statements) which meant that I could choose what I wanted to answer. I picked thesis #1, the easiest and the one I was most prepared for. But I guess I got so overjoyed by the fact that I'm answering what I wanted that something took over me and parang motor dumirediretso ako, ang dami kong sinasabi, ang lalim ng mga sinasabi ko. Para akong may sapi! And now, I can't even remember what exactly I said and whether it is good or bad. My teacher just looked at me in a strange way--the kind of strange that cannot be easily classified as impressed or appalled. There's just a big chance I blew it!
The only part I remember is that I dished out an observation that was quite beyond the concepts taught to us. It just occured to me and without thinking, I said it. And it piqued my teacher's interest so he interrupted my litany and grilled me about it. Now I'm not sure whether my daring was brave or stupid. Anyway, on with the story... I was shocked by his interest having not thought much about the observation in the first place that I just stared at him. Then I blinked and said, "Sir, pakiulit naman. Sorry po pero di ko naintindihan." He repeated it and I managed some pambobola. I really don't know if he bought it or not.
I usually can tell within 5 minutes into the orals if the teacher is impressed with what I am saying or not. After the entire thing, I could guess the range of my grade and I'm always right. But for this one, I have no idea. The probabilities are:
1. Everything I said actually made sense like what happens in inspired moments. I don't have much consciousness about it now (psych experts, how could that have possibly happened?) but maybe that's what happened. I'm certainly hoping that this is the case.
2. Sobrang nagkalat ako! This could very well be because he was throwing me a lot of questions. Maybe Sir was trying to guide me back on track? Stupid. Stupid! I should have taken a few seconds before I launched into it.
I can't believe this. So nerve-wracking. I could be such a weirdo sometimes. Okay, a lot of times. Aaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
2.02.2005
GOOD MINDLESS ENTERTAINMENT
Saludo ako sa iyo Spongebob! Ano na lang ang gagawin ko kung wala ka?
My Comforter in Times of Great Stress:
The Sponge with Square pants who lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea
ANG GALING KO TALAGA!
Sobrang feeling ko Wonderwoman ako ngayon! I'm on the top of the world! Here are the reasons:
1. Yesterday, I had a job interview and I passed the first phase. The HR person really liked me and introduced me to the boss right away. And he gave her very positive comments about me. (I overheard!) Ang saya saya! Hopefully, matanggap na ako ng tuluyan sa trabaho! I think I did ok naman with the boss. It's just a matter of how many openings they have. *keeping my fingers crossed*
2. Dahil nga sa interview, I arrived home super late na. But in that one night, I was able to make my thesis defense Powerpoint presentation, edit an article, and write a reaction paper. O di ba? Sanay na sanay na ako sa bolahan! Hehe...
3. I had my defense today and guess what I got? An A. A flat 4.0 at that! My adviser and mentor gave me 2 A's each - one for the paper and one for the defense. Now because all my chapters are A's (Chapters I-IV 4.0 and Chapter V 3.75 which is still an A althought a low one), my final grade for my thesis course (first sem and second sem) is... tan-tananan... isang tumataginting na A. Sobrang this means a lot to me! Super pinagpaguran ko kasi. Tinuring ko talagang baby ang thesis ko. Haaayyy... Makakapagpahinga na rin. One job done. Done very well.
4. Eto pa, dahil nga sa maganda, the department is asking for a copy. Flattery to the max! They're gonna include it in their annual compilation ng mga pinakamagandang thesis. Say niyo? Mahihilera na ang sulat ko sa mga obra maestra nina Pia Hontiveros (She had PolSci and Comm tracks in IS too like me and her topic was guerilla warfare) and JoEd Tirol (journalism Marcos era) among others.
5. After my defense, I just went home to drop my laptop, wash the makeup off my face, and change from my fab but tiring skirt-tank-heels ensemble to go to a party. There's nothing like a party to release all that energy and joy! Ang saya! The usual todo nakaka-relax party: loads of food, Magic Mic, relatives, pictures.
Haaayyy... Ang saya ko talaga ngayon. I don't even mind still being awake at this hour to finish a literary post-structuralist reading paper. I usually find binary oppositions boring pero ngayon parang everything has a certain beauty to it. Mukha akong naka-droga! Only my drug is the natural, legal, God-given kind. At ginanahan pa akong mag-post. After a hundred years, may update na.
Ang sarap lang talaga when your hard work pays off and one achievement follows another. I'm floating. Mababaw naman talaga kasi ako, small things like these can really lift my spirits.
P.S. Watch out for a Valentine surprise from iATENEO. I'm so excited about it! It's my last gift as EIC before I graduate. Legacy na 'to!
GIRL INTERRUPTED
GIRL INTERRUPTED
Hi! I am Rachelle and this is my online journal.
Hear what I have to say. Look and see inside of me. Enter the mind of a girl, interrupted.
This work is protected by a Creative Commons License.
No part of this blog may be used, copied, and/or reproduced without the consent of the blog owner. Any violation is subject to criminal persecution.
WARNING!!!
Site is off-limits to dad!
If you are my dad and you are so hard-headed that you're still reading this, exit immediately. Trust daddy! Trust! I'd really hate you if I find out you are still snooping around.
Commenting system already disabled since this blog now only kept for posterity sake, cross-postings aside.
You may visit me at
www.fairytale-not.
livejournal.com
and
www.missprim
butnotproper.
multiply.com
This page has been flicked this number of times: