I just had the weirdest Philo orals in my four years of expert pambobola here in the Ateneo.

I actually knew the material since I've read the book, I've been listening in class, and the concepts are very universal makaka-relate talaga ang lahat. I prepared an outline of my answer for each thesis statement, went there early, and dressed up. So I thought butterflies in my stomach aside, I pretty much had it made.

Then it happened.

I got 6 on the dice (the wildcard since there are only 5 thesis statements) which meant that I could choose what I wanted to answer. I picked thesis #1, the easiest and the one I was most prepared for. But I guess I got so overjoyed by the fact that I'm answering what I wanted that something took over me and parang motor dumirediretso ako, ang dami kong sinasabi, ang lalim ng mga sinasabi ko. Para akong may sapi! And now, I can't even remember what exactly I said and whether it is good or bad. My teacher just looked at me in a strange way--the kind of strange that cannot be easily classified as impressed or appalled. There's just a big chance I blew it!

The only part I remember is that I dished out an observation that was quite beyond the concepts taught to us. It just occured to me and without thinking, I said it. And it piqued my teacher's interest so he interrupted my litany and grilled me about it. Now I'm not sure whether my daring was brave or stupid. Anyway, on with the story... I was shocked by his interest having not thought much about the observation in the first place that I just stared at him. Then I blinked and said, "Sir, pakiulit naman. Sorry po pero di ko naintindihan." He repeated it and I managed some pambobola. I really don't know if he bought it or not.

I usually can tell within 5 minutes into the orals if the teacher is impressed with what I am saying or not. After the entire thing, I could guess the range of my grade and I'm always right. But for this one, I have no idea. The probabilities are:

1. Everything I said actually made sense like what happens in inspired moments. I don't have much consciousness about it now (psych experts, how could that have possibly happened?) but maybe that's what happened. I'm certainly hoping that this is the case.

2. Sobrang nagkalat ako! This could very well be because he was throwing me a lot of questions. Maybe Sir was trying to guide me back on track? Stupid. Stupid! I should have taken a few seconds before I launched into it.

I can't believe this. So nerve-wracking. I could be such a weirdo sometimes. Okay, a lot of times. Aaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!