Another 12 months have passed. It's a new year. The rooster calls out, signaling yet another chapter in our lives.

Every January 1st, I usually do this little exercise:

1. recall the people, events, emotions, achievements, failures, etc. of the year that has passed

2. evaluate myself

3. based on the evaluation, set new goals

But I don't feel like doing that this year. Why, you ask? Well, looking back is kinda painful. 2004 hasn't exactly been good for me. Sure, I became a stronger person in the process of coping with the challenges. It is also true that the things in my life have been put in a clearer and wiser perspective. And looking at the bright side, there was some joy and achievement especially with Mulieris and iATENEO. But in general, I cannot deny that it has hurt. Is hurting. I still bleed although less than before.

Having said that, I think I'll just play 2005 by the ear. I'll deal with things as they come to me. I won't expect too much and I won't pretend. This doesn't mean I wouldn't dream and give everything my best. I'll just be more grounded. I'll be more spontaneous. I'll be more in touch with my emotions--let myself feel without fear even if it's not all good and fun. I'll just be more me. That's the best I can do right now.

I really hope this year turns out a lot better for me. I've been down too long. I need to see the light. I just want to be happy.