They say you learn something new each day. Well today might have been a bit stressful for me, but it sure has been productive. I learned a week's worth.

1. I will always be me. While putting on the "I-made-an-effort-to-look-business-like-and-presentable-so-take-me-seriously" outfit my dorm mates had so carefully picked out for me the night before for my Unilever interview, I felt a certain kind of dying. (Aside: My dorm mates had so much fun since they got to do what they wanted to do with me. I played the role of an obliging Barbie.)

The black slacks, polo top, and black heeled booties looked okay. In fact, I admit that the outfit looked sharp. BUT I couldn't help but feel terrible in it. You see, I have fun dressing up and I always dress up for me (mainly!) so I equate fashion with my style and my identity. When I looked at the mirror and saw something I wouldn't have picked had not the occasion called for it, I wanted to cancel the interview, put on jeans and a fun top, and go to school following my regular schedule instead.

I told Lea, one of my dorm mates, how I felt. She said, "Alangan namang hindi ka mag-ganyan? I personalize mo na lang.(You can't not wear that. Just personalize it.)" That was good advice. I took it. I took off the heels and slipped on a white and pink floral sandal. We agreed (well mostly my dorm mates but I gave my consent) that I'd wear nothing more than a watch but I added a silver bracelet and pearl earrings. I looked at myself in the mirror once more. "Not bad," I thought. Well, the ensemble was a little different from the usual in the first place (only I didn't realize that at first). The cut of the slacks was boot leg. The top, even if it's the usual collared print top, was in pink.

I was finally satisfied with the sharp and formal but still Rachelle look. They can make me go corporate and wear power suits (I'd like that actually if it's suit skirt a la Ally McBeal), but I'll always find a way to be me.

2. People who are a certain way will always be that way. In the same manner that I will always be me, so will others. This reminds me of that entire concept of fundamental option (i.e. those who make good choices are formed into good people while those who opt for the bad become evil) in Theology class. Allow me to illustrate:

A. Maniacs will always be maniacs. Some people (most especially chauvinist pigs) claim that women who wear skimpy clothing are asking for some kind of harassment (verbal, physical as in rape, what-have-you). Moreover, they say that when such violation occurs, it is the woman's fault precisely because she wore something like that and she "tempted" the man. Wow! Talk about washing one's hands and denying responsibility by blaming something mundane.

Well today, I proved the theory wrong. I wasn't spared from malicious comments even if I wasn't in a skirt, a dress, a tank or anything like that. For Christ sakes, I was wearing yuppie wear! I stared down the first two commenters. After that, I got a bit tired. It's pointless to change someone who is already oriented a certain way. Skimpy clothes or a nun's frock, it'll be the same. I just ignored the third to the nth maniac.

B. The invisible will always be invisible. Not until we see them, look at their plight, and do something. There were really striking, really heart-wrenching poor people in the streets. They ranged from beggars to kids selling newspapers and candies to scavengers messing up the trash and so on. I guess there is just so many of such people that the rest of the population has been so used to them. They're invisible -- physically there but non-existent in the eyes of those who do not care.

The sad thing is, the chances of them having a better future is so slim. My donation of ten pesos wouldn't really make that poor boy's life any different save for the fact that he'd get to eat something for that day. It's sad to see how helpless people remain helpless because we live in a world that is full of inequality, a world of people who care about no one but themselves.

3. A city, no matter how big and how crowded, can never be too big. Transferring from the LRT to the MRT and back to the LRT again, I met a girl named Hazel. She was friendly. We talked while on the queue for tickets and learned that we were both going to Taft so we decided (not out loud, it just happened) to go together. It's not all that difficult to make a friend in a city of so many people.

I found out that she had been going back and forth the Department of Foreign Affairs (DFA) fixing up some papers. They gave her some documents the first time, then she was asked to come back another time for more papers, and still another for the rest. For one transaction, she has already made three trips! Poor girl! What an unnecessary waste of time, effort, and money if only the government was more efficient. I was telling her that when she said that she needed to endure all the trouble because she needed work. She was going to be a domestic helper in Hong Kong because she had siblings to support. My heart went out to the stranger sitting beside me whom if I had not bothered to know the life story, I would have easily dismissed as just another passenger on the train needing to get to some place. Hers was just a life different from mine.

I wanted to find more about my new friend and possibly switch numbers. But on the last LRT we were going to catch, we got separated. We were standing side by side. When the train's doors opened, the people around us moved. Without me doing anything, I found myself already inside the sardine-packed ride. The doors closed and I looked around for my companion. I saw Hazel on the window waving a Goodbye-nice-meeting-you-go-on-I'll-catch-the-next-one wave at me. I couldn't do anything but wave back. As quickly and as incidentally as I had met Hazel, as quickly and as incidentally have I lost her. The city is small and the city is big, both at the same time.

4. Interviews are spontaneous. We can never tell. It's like everything else in life, we try to prepare but when we're there, that's it.

Prior to meeting Franz Decleodt, I had it all figured out. My script went like this: "Well, to be honest, my main interests are writing and politics but I've also had some experience in operations and public relations. I'm an open person so I want to try my fate here at Unilever."

Then, I met him. Everything I prepared for escaped my memory. He posed hard but interesting questions. I found my answers just seconds after he asked for them. It didn't turn out the way I planned (although the interests and experience part remained the same 'coz that's true) but I discovered some things about me that I had not discovered until then. It's different when you hear yourself, when you finally articulate all that you've been thinking and feeling.

To be very honest, corporate is not really my thing. I'm a free spirit, an activist by heart ("impressively opinionated but sometimes militant" as a writer and a teacher I admire has once commented). I'm flexible. I'm open. I'm in I.S.

But then, why should I say that it can never be my thing? My nature runs counter to that. I'm not saying that I like it. But I'd take caution in dismissing it. After all, change and helping people is not exclusive to one field.

5. Whenever you get the chance to make someone smile, to lighten their load, and to help them in whatever way, you should.

Aside from Hazel, I made another friend - the cab driver of the taxi that took me back to school. I don't even know his name. As poetic and as tragic that eye-opener friendship with Hazel has been, I didn't have enough sense to recognize that something meaningful was going on between me and the driver. The thing is, I've been so used to cabbies chatting me up that I immediately took it as a tactic for getting a tip. I indulged him. I shared with him my reason for rushing back: I came from an interview and had a quiz to catch. I was worrying 'coz the teacher is strict when it comes to those things. I wasn't sure if a letter of certification from Unilever would help. It was already 11:30 and we were still in Cubao. The teacher gave quizzes the first five or ten minutes of class.

The driver consoled me. He asked about my interview, my teacher, and the quiz. He told me to just explain the situation well to the teacher. I found him corny for saying, "Tsaka magdasal ka. Sa tulong ng Diyos, mapapayagan ka. Kapag hindi pumayag ang teacher mo, hindi na 'yan dahil sa nasa itaas. Gawa 'yan ng nasa ibaba. (And pray. With God's help, your teacher will allow you take the quiz. If he doesn't, it's not the fault of the one up there. It's the fault of the one down there)."

But when we made it to Ateneo 11:45, I realized that his efforts in consoling me were genuine. He followed the fastest although probably not the most profitable way. And he delivered to his "Ako ang bahala (Leave it up to me)" assurance when I asked him to hurry.

I missed the quiz but my teacher accepted the letter and took note that I hurried back and I attended make-up class. I'm still frustrated that he didn't allow me to take a make-up quiz but at least, my efforts weren't totally wasted.

6. Whenever someone took the effort to make you smile, to lighten your load, and to help you in whatever way, you should show appreciation.

Before getting off the taxi and making a run for class a la Olympic athlete, I handed the cabbie a twenty. It was the least I could do.

7. Sleep is underrated. We often take it for granted, but sleep is truly one of the best things in the world. Try being up for x straight hours without it and you'll see how significant it is when you finally get some.

After the exciting day I had, the bed was my comfort.

I just woke up hours ago, a little past midnight. (Note: I decided to use today still 'coz it's easier to work with the tense. It's just a few hours past anyway.) Thank goodness the ACP registration was moved to tomorrow 9 p.m. If it wasn't, I would've missed out and found myself with tira-tira (just what's left) classes.

I want to end with the line they use in MTV Diaries. I've always wanted to say it. Here goes: After you've read about most of my day, I guess you learned a lot more about me. My life is unlike any other.

"You think you know. But you have no idea.
This is the diary of Rachelle San Pedro."