Arghhhhhhh!!! I am very very upset. I can't believe this. I totally bombed the Philo quiz this morning. From an A- average, my quiz cumulative is now down to a C+ because there are only a few quizzes with few items so each one matters a lot. Three levels down! Oh my gawd!

Thing is, I know I deserve it. I didn't read the article so I obviously had no idea whatsoever. All the questions seemed remote. Why didn't I read? I thought today's class would just be a continuation of the previous article. Apparently, I thought wrong. I should have checked the syllabus or asked around. I should have. I really should have.

I know it's just a short quiz, only three points in fact. I know this stressing might make me seem too hard on myself and/or grade-conscious. But I can't help but feel bad. What gets me is that this is something I could have prevented. This didn't have to happen. I could've read and either maintained my A- or gone up to A. If only. If only. If only. If only I had given more time, exerted more effort, and practiced responsibility. It's a small thing but actually it represents my general attitude this senior year. Yes, I have studied and met the requirements of my subjects. But I am not focusing enough. I have given so little as compared to my actual potential. And I am aware of it. I let little things slip because sometimes I'm too tired of studying, sometimes I become complacent, sometimes I'm just plain lazy. I have done those little slips time and time again. This is the time when I finally felt the slip. I landed hard on my butt. It took a zero (something I haven't received in a very very long time) in a short quiz to jolt me from my just-drifting senior attitude.

I hear the bell. It's study time for me. By study I mean really really hard studying.