My mind and my body are both oh-so-tired because of school work as well as a case of the flu. Almost no sleep and very little food due to a great lack of time ain't good for anyone. If my body and my mind could opt to belong to someone else, I am so sure I would have gotten dumped by now. It's just that no matter how tired I am, I can't rest while knowing that I still have tons to do. I remember something my friend Blooey told me before. She said that she wished time was sold in bottles. How I wish that was possible! I'd buy an entire truckload just so I'd have enough time for everything I need to do and everything I want to do.

But anyway, things ain't that bad. At times like these, I find comfort in little things. A chocolate bar. A text message from friends. Blogging. Receiving comments and greetings. Seeing my number of hits increase. A nice bath. A free cut. And him. Seeing him even if just from afar for a little while.

Who? I'm sure you're dying to ask. No, it's not Orange. I've learned that he went to the other side of the globe a few weeks ago as part of his job. I knew it! It wouldn't be long 'til he becomes very successful in that big company. Well, I do miss him a little. Sometimes. I mean, he's my one big crush in the Ateneo. I don't think I could erase him from my memory when he has already inhabited my thoughts and my being for so long. But I think it's safe to conclude that I've moved past that phase of totally obsessing over him. Orange is history.

I have a new crush now. Nothing major. Definitely not in the same level as my crush for Orange before. Let's just call him Yellow. Why? Just because. It seems appropriate for my next crush to be codenamed Yellow. I like the sound of it: yell-ow! And it's so bright and sunny and happy. Very reflective of the way he makes me feel.

Anyway, I've known Yellow for quite sometime now although we're not really close or anything like that. I have always liked him. You know, I find him cute and I think he's smart and all that. But I never really paid (much) attention. But now, I think he has grown on me. I find myself thinking more and more about him and just thinking about the possibility of seeing him in school makes me feel giddy.

There's this song that's playing over and over inside my head. Dedicated to him? I dunno. Maybe. Maybe not. But anyway...

THE REASON
Hoobastank

I'm not a perfect person

There's many things I wish I didn't do

But I continue learning

I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

Chorus:

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

and the reason is YOU

I'm sorry that I hurt you

It's something I must live with everyday

And all the pain I put you through

I wish that I could take it all away

And be the one who catches all your tears

That's why I need you to hear

Chorus

And the reason is YOU

And the reason is YOU

And the reason is YOU

I'm not a perfect person

I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

Chorus

I've found a reason to show

A side of me you didn't know

A reason for all that I do

And the reason is YOU

Note: Lyrics courtesy of Lyrics Spot.

I am perfectly aware that he wouldn't be able to read this. And I'd like to keep it that way. I just want to release it. Let it be wasted. Let it be unrequited. Let it remain unacknowledged. I just want to let it out.

Yellow: Thank you for making me smile. :) It's nice to be able to smile again.